I rather enjoyed watching the Saints win a Super Bowl Championship on Sunday night. The whole scene was cinematic. Drew Brees holding his son while tearing up was a special moment. Peyton Manning walking off the field instead of going over to congratulate Brees was interesting. And watching the Saints owner almost throw the Lombardi Trophy over the stage rail and onto the field was pretty funny (old people need to be careful when they fist pump with a large trophy in their hands.)
But then reality set in. The Saints won the Super Bowl. The New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl. I can say it again if you like. THE SAINTS WON THE SUPER BOWL.
The Saints were once the lowly NFL team that consistently lost and was a laughing stock of the league. Even when they were good they would lose immediately upon entering the playoffs (12-4 in 1992 only to lose at home in the playoffs against the Eagles after being up 20-7.) There are a few teams that one expects to be terrible forever (or at least without a championship) and the Saints used to be one of those teams. The Arizona Cardinals are another one of those teams, and they almost got their championship last year. How does this relate to me? (Because I'm selfish and think of things in those terms.)
The Chicago Cubs are also considered one of those teams. Even though they do have their back to back championships of 1907 and 1908, let's be honest, the Cubs might as well have won those on Mars 3,000 years ago. No one cares about a championship from that long ago. Honestly, the Pittsburgh Pirates have a rich tradition of winning baseball, but since their last championship was in 1979, and they've been losing since Jim Leyland left their team, most people think of them as a losing franchise as well. "What have you done for me lately" is the most applicable phrase when it comes to sports.
My point is that with the Saints win, the Cubs have one less franchise in the "they'll always be losers club." The Boston Red Sox broke out of that club in 2004, the White Sox broke out of it in 2005. Misery loves company, and I hate seeing teams rise up and leave the Cubs in the dust crying about missed opportunities and begging for better luck.
I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on any of those teams, though. I mean, they're just doing what they're paid to do. Win. There is one simple solution to this whole psychological problem that professional sports is causing me- The Cubs need to win the World Series.
I thought about it the other day, and I don't expect the Cubs to win it this year. But that also got me wondering about when I think it will be. When could the Cubs actually break the fictional "curse" that has bothered them for so long? I have no idea. But this also brought forth the sad thought, "I'm 28, I'm sure they'll win one before I die."
I wonder how many generations of people have thought that before dying...
Damn you Saints! On the positive, you showed the world that it is possible for a traditional loser to rise up and win regardless of past history. But you've also left the "loser" club- it just keeps getting lonelier...
[Let's end on a positive note- Michael Jordan and the Bulls won 6 Championships in the 1990s and it was so awesome.]
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
A Case of the Mondays: Super Bowl Edition
I highly enjoyed the Super Bowl. The game was very well played. Hardly any penalties, or play reviews, or turnovers. It seemed to sail along like an actual football game, rather than the CF spectacle the Super Bowl turns into. I'm just assuming everyone watched the game, so no need for any kind of recap, but here are some things I noticed:
- The Who were the wrong band for the Super Bowl halftime show. I'm fairly certain the crowd only recognized any of the songs because each song they played happened to be the theme song for CBS shows that contain initials (CSI, NCIS, etc.) Instead of having people on the field to act as the crowd, they opted for a massive light show that only separated the crowd and viewer further from the band (rather than making it more intimate.) The Who is a great band, but this was the absolute wrong venue for their talents. The question is, what current band could pull off a halftime show? Someone decently relevant, but still rocking... Maybe the Foo Fighters? Hell, Prince even played one of their songs during his halftime show a couple years ago. Seems like it would work.
- Phil Sims ruined a great moment for me. At the end of the game, Drew Brees was holding his one year old son in triumphant victory with tears in his eyes. It was a wonderful moment that grounded this grand stage in realism for the viewers at home. Watching Brees hold his son (who was wearing large headphones to block out the noise of the celebration) and kiss him on the cheek was emotional. Then Phil Sims piped up, "There is no greater moment that a father can share with his son." Maybe it's true, but then I started thinking, "Crap- I'm never going to win a Super Bowl and be the MVP, so I'll never get to share the greatest moment a father can share with his son." What an ass. Of course, he person can have their individual great moments with their own kids, and how dare Phil Sims ruin a completely awesome moment by having me over think his moronic statement. Remember when Sims got hurt and Jeff Hostetler took the Giants to the Super Bowl. That was awesome because it showed how much the Giants didn't need Sims.
- The Economic situation in New Orleans is effed. Many people are talking about how this win is "Great for the community of New Orleans." Sure, it provides distraction for a community that has been hit with hard times, but is it really good? I heard Mike Tirico say there will be a "small uptick in the community because of all the partying..." I also heard Drew Brees and Sean Payton joke about how "nothing will get done in the New Orleans for a month [due to the Super Bowl celebration and Mari Gras.]" I'm all for slacking off, but if you do nothing at your job, or leave your job for a month, that cannot be helpful for any business. The Saints may have re-ruined the community because everyone will get so distracted (and drunk) that this will lead to even more economic turmoil. Winning a Super Bowl is great, but it's not a reason to not doing anything for a month! That's just silly!
Congrats Saints- you won a great Super Bowl. Now, we get to see if Mike Martz and Jay Cutler can lead the Bears' offense to the Super Bowl next year... ah crap.
- The Who were the wrong band for the Super Bowl halftime show. I'm fairly certain the crowd only recognized any of the songs because each song they played happened to be the theme song for CBS shows that contain initials (CSI, NCIS, etc.) Instead of having people on the field to act as the crowd, they opted for a massive light show that only separated the crowd and viewer further from the band (rather than making it more intimate.) The Who is a great band, but this was the absolute wrong venue for their talents. The question is, what current band could pull off a halftime show? Someone decently relevant, but still rocking... Maybe the Foo Fighters? Hell, Prince even played one of their songs during his halftime show a couple years ago. Seems like it would work.
- Phil Sims ruined a great moment for me. At the end of the game, Drew Brees was holding his one year old son in triumphant victory with tears in his eyes. It was a wonderful moment that grounded this grand stage in realism for the viewers at home. Watching Brees hold his son (who was wearing large headphones to block out the noise of the celebration) and kiss him on the cheek was emotional. Then Phil Sims piped up, "There is no greater moment that a father can share with his son." Maybe it's true, but then I started thinking, "Crap- I'm never going to win a Super Bowl and be the MVP, so I'll never get to share the greatest moment a father can share with his son." What an ass. Of course, he person can have their individual great moments with their own kids, and how dare Phil Sims ruin a completely awesome moment by having me over think his moronic statement. Remember when Sims got hurt and Jeff Hostetler took the Giants to the Super Bowl. That was awesome because it showed how much the Giants didn't need Sims.
- The Economic situation in New Orleans is effed. Many people are talking about how this win is "Great for the community of New Orleans." Sure, it provides distraction for a community that has been hit with hard times, but is it really good? I heard Mike Tirico say there will be a "small uptick in the community because of all the partying..." I also heard Drew Brees and Sean Payton joke about how "nothing will get done in the New Orleans for a month [due to the Super Bowl celebration and Mari Gras.]" I'm all for slacking off, but if you do nothing at your job, or leave your job for a month, that cannot be helpful for any business. The Saints may have re-ruined the community because everyone will get so distracted (and drunk) that this will lead to even more economic turmoil. Winning a Super Bowl is great, but it's not a reason to not doing anything for a month! That's just silly!
Congrats Saints- you won a great Super Bowl. Now, we get to see if Mike Martz and Jay Cutler can lead the Bears' offense to the Super Bowl next year... ah crap.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Super Bowl Prediction
I have to be honest, with the premiere of LOST, my men's league basketball team starting up, and the over hyped onslaught of media that the comes with the Super Bowl, I have pretty much turned my brain off to the NFL for the last week and a half. But that stops now- before picking the Super Bowl, I have to take a few things into account:
- Is Peyton Manning clutch or not? This is a tougher question than someone who buys into the recent "Peyton Manning is the greatest ever" media hype might think. He did little more than manage the game to beat the Bears three years ago. While the powers that be gave him the "we can't really give it to anyone else, so it goes to the QB" MVP award, in truth, the MVP of the Colts was probably Rex Grossman (or maybe Dominick Rhodes.) Before then (and since then), Manning has been prone to crushing playoff defeats. Could this be another playoff loss, or will Manning rise to the occasion and cement his name in the discussion for Top 10 QB's of all time (slow down on the greatest ever talk.)
- Will Dwight Freeney play? I'll save you the suspense- No, he will not play. It's a shame, too. He ripped tendons in his ankle while playing in the last 2 minutes of the Colts game against the Jets when they were up 30-17. Why bench your players to not go undefeated if you were just going to let them get injured during meaningless playoff minutes? It doesn't make sense, does it? If Freeney tries to play, he will be less than effective. An injury that serious is not something Freeney can cope with, no matter how much of a savage he thinks he is.
- Exactly how bad did the Saints play against the Vikings? Bad. Real bad. Their balls shrunk up and they did not bring the same kind of open passing attack that we've seen from the Saints this season (see: MNF vs. the Patriots.) The "Who Dat? Nation" (horrible rallying nickname) is lucky that Brett Favre and the Vikings coughed up victory like my cat coughs up a hairball. 12 men in a huddle in the 4th quarter of the NFC Championship game? Really? If the Saints play like that, they will lose.
- How strict will the refs be? The Saints defense has beat the holy shit out of the first two QB's they've faced during the playoffs this year, likely forcing both of them into retirement. Not all of the hits were "legal" per se, but they did what they were intended to do- rattle the QB. My coach used to say, "In times of adversity, we revert back to our natural habits- good or bad." At least, it was something like that. Point being, when trouble strikes, we're likely to do what is natural. Favre found it natural to throw across his body toss the ball to a defender. Will the Saints be allowed to get at Peyton Manning as much as they got to Favre and Warner? Is Manning tough enough to deal with whatever pressure they bring?
Taking all of this into account, I'm expecting a pretty close game. With Dwight Freeney, I think the Colts would win by 7-10. Without him, I'll predict something like this:
Colts 31 - Saints 28
I will be cheering for the Saints, but I don't know if they have enough to get it done. I do love Drew Brees, though, so I hope he can get it done.
- Is Peyton Manning clutch or not? This is a tougher question than someone who buys into the recent "Peyton Manning is the greatest ever" media hype might think. He did little more than manage the game to beat the Bears three years ago. While the powers that be gave him the "we can't really give it to anyone else, so it goes to the QB" MVP award, in truth, the MVP of the Colts was probably Rex Grossman (or maybe Dominick Rhodes.) Before then (and since then), Manning has been prone to crushing playoff defeats. Could this be another playoff loss, or will Manning rise to the occasion and cement his name in the discussion for Top 10 QB's of all time (slow down on the greatest ever talk.)
- Will Dwight Freeney play? I'll save you the suspense- No, he will not play. It's a shame, too. He ripped tendons in his ankle while playing in the last 2 minutes of the Colts game against the Jets when they were up 30-17. Why bench your players to not go undefeated if you were just going to let them get injured during meaningless playoff minutes? It doesn't make sense, does it? If Freeney tries to play, he will be less than effective. An injury that serious is not something Freeney can cope with, no matter how much of a savage he thinks he is.
- Exactly how bad did the Saints play against the Vikings? Bad. Real bad. Their balls shrunk up and they did not bring the same kind of open passing attack that we've seen from the Saints this season (see: MNF vs. the Patriots.) The "Who Dat? Nation" (horrible rallying nickname) is lucky that Brett Favre and the Vikings coughed up victory like my cat coughs up a hairball. 12 men in a huddle in the 4th quarter of the NFC Championship game? Really? If the Saints play like that, they will lose.
- How strict will the refs be? The Saints defense has beat the holy shit out of the first two QB's they've faced during the playoffs this year, likely forcing both of them into retirement. Not all of the hits were "legal" per se, but they did what they were intended to do- rattle the QB. My coach used to say, "In times of adversity, we revert back to our natural habits- good or bad." At least, it was something like that. Point being, when trouble strikes, we're likely to do what is natural. Favre found it natural to throw across his body toss the ball to a defender. Will the Saints be allowed to get at Peyton Manning as much as they got to Favre and Warner? Is Manning tough enough to deal with whatever pressure they bring?
Taking all of this into account, I'm expecting a pretty close game. With Dwight Freeney, I think the Colts would win by 7-10. Without him, I'll predict something like this:
Colts 31 - Saints 28
I will be cheering for the Saints, but I don't know if they have enough to get it done. I do love Drew Brees, though, so I hope he can get it done.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Worst Arbitration Numbers Ever
I was thinking about Tim Lincecum's impending arbitration case and I cannot understand what the Giants were thinking. For those unfamiliar, MLB arbitration cases work by the team giving a possible salary number, the player gives their desired salary number, then a judge decides which number is more appropriate. There is no compromise. No average. Once it gets to arbitration, it is an Either/Or situation.
In Tim Lincecum's case, he stands to make the most money ever by a player who is eligible for arbitration, but not yet eligible for free agency. In fact, because he has been so dominant, he actually qualified as a "Super Two" so he goes to arbitration a year earlier than he would have otherwise.
If I'm not mistaken, the current record for a winning arbitration case is $10 million set by Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies. Tim Lincecum rightfully is asking to break that record by putting his number at $13 million. I mean, he is the back to back Cy Young Award winner in the National League. Without doing any research at all, I'm confident in saying that these seasons have to be the most dominant first two full seasons by a pitcher in history (someone please comment if there is another pitcher who is on par with Lincecum, ever.) The point is, he's an absolute savage and deserves his $13 million. And the biggest reason for that is...
That the Giants offer is at $8 million! WHAT?! You must be kidding me. Business-wise, you can't offer less than the record for someone who has been recognized as the best pitcher in the National League two years in a row. They might be able to actually win the case had they offered $10 million- thus saving $3 million. If a judge has to choose between $13 million and $8 million, it's a no brainer- $13 million is the only option. $8 million is simply too low.
Now the Giants have put themselves in a bad situation. We're talking Jack Bauer undercover in a terrorist cell bad. They are going to lose the arbitration case. While there is still a possibility they could settle with Lincecum before the arbitration case is held, they are in a bad position. Lincecum has all the leverage. He and his agent have to know they are in control here. If I were them, there's no way I'm settling for less than $11 million. $2 million less than $13 million might be worth it eliminate all risk of losing the case and having to settle for $8 million, but anything less than that, and I'll take my chances- and most likely, I'll be $5 million richer than what the Giants believe I deserve.
Sidenote- are the Giants really paying Barry Zito $17 million a year, and they are really going to lowball the face of their franchise with an $8 million offer. What a slap in the face. I guarantee the spike in attendance during Lincecum's starts makes more than enough to make up the difference of $5 million.
I typically think Brian Sabean is a good General Manager, but the more I hear him speak on the radio, and the more I see some of his moves, the less I believe that he is the guy to lead the Giants back to being a competitive playoff team. Bay Area (and NorCal) sports teams are in such disarray these days and much of it has to do with bad decision making in the front offices. I thought the Giants were on the right path, but with simple mistakes like this one, it seems obvious that they are not ready to be respectable once again- much like the other teams in the area.
In Tim Lincecum's case, he stands to make the most money ever by a player who is eligible for arbitration, but not yet eligible for free agency. In fact, because he has been so dominant, he actually qualified as a "Super Two" so he goes to arbitration a year earlier than he would have otherwise.
If I'm not mistaken, the current record for a winning arbitration case is $10 million set by Ryan Howard of the Philadelphia Phillies. Tim Lincecum rightfully is asking to break that record by putting his number at $13 million. I mean, he is the back to back Cy Young Award winner in the National League. Without doing any research at all, I'm confident in saying that these seasons have to be the most dominant first two full seasons by a pitcher in history (someone please comment if there is another pitcher who is on par with Lincecum, ever.) The point is, he's an absolute savage and deserves his $13 million. And the biggest reason for that is...
That the Giants offer is at $8 million! WHAT?! You must be kidding me. Business-wise, you can't offer less than the record for someone who has been recognized as the best pitcher in the National League two years in a row. They might be able to actually win the case had they offered $10 million- thus saving $3 million. If a judge has to choose between $13 million and $8 million, it's a no brainer- $13 million is the only option. $8 million is simply too low.
Now the Giants have put themselves in a bad situation. We're talking Jack Bauer undercover in a terrorist cell bad. They are going to lose the arbitration case. While there is still a possibility they could settle with Lincecum before the arbitration case is held, they are in a bad position. Lincecum has all the leverage. He and his agent have to know they are in control here. If I were them, there's no way I'm settling for less than $11 million. $2 million less than $13 million might be worth it eliminate all risk of losing the case and having to settle for $8 million, but anything less than that, and I'll take my chances- and most likely, I'll be $5 million richer than what the Giants believe I deserve.
Sidenote- are the Giants really paying Barry Zito $17 million a year, and they are really going to lowball the face of their franchise with an $8 million offer. What a slap in the face. I guarantee the spike in attendance during Lincecum's starts makes more than enough to make up the difference of $5 million.
I typically think Brian Sabean is a good General Manager, but the more I hear him speak on the radio, and the more I see some of his moves, the less I believe that he is the guy to lead the Giants back to being a competitive playoff team. Bay Area (and NorCal) sports teams are in such disarray these days and much of it has to do with bad decision making in the front offices. I thought the Giants were on the right path, but with simple mistakes like this one, it seems obvious that they are not ready to be respectable once again- much like the other teams in the area.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
LOST - LA X
Let the Final Season of LOST begin! I'm typing this with trepidation because I feel a bit rusty at this live blogging stuff. Hopefully it will be like riding a bike, but hopefully this is still relatively entertaining in the end. Here goes nothing:
- First prediction: Jacob turns into a "blue glowy thing" from Star Wars.
- Alright, starting exactly from the end of the last season with a white screen- now we see Jack on Oceanic 815... except Cindy the flight attendant only gives him one extra bottle of mini booze. I hate this alternate timeline already!
- What kind of shoddy overhead bins allow a bag to fall from above! Ridiculous.
- Rose is comforting Jack instead of the other way around... success #1- Rose and Bernard aren't separated!
- Jack goes to the bathroom only to stare into the mirror. That is one hell of a wound on his neck. Jeez.
- Desmond is on the plane! What the hell. I guess he really isn't pushing the button on the island. "See ya in another life" is really taking on a new meaning.
- What do we find with a deep sea camera expetition- The Titanic, Dhamaville and the Four Toed Statue. W.T.F.
- LOST is living up to it's mindf*** billing has now placed us back to 1977, with Juliet- oh wait, what the hell- Kate is on top of a tree. That just doesn't seem possible.
- Dude, Kate, you shouldn't have been so close to the speakers at the Danzig concert!
- Sound is back to normal. Thank Christ.
- Miles is alive, and Kate judo chops him.
- Kate has found her and Miles and Jack and they are back in "not 1977."
- Sawyer kicked Jack in the face. IN THE FACE!
- Jack is finding himself in the same predicament as Locke did at the beginning of Season 3.
- Ok, back to the alternate 815 flight. Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, and even Artz are making appearances. Hurley owns Mr. Cluck's Chicken. "Nothing bad ever happens" to Hurley. Uhh... this is getting weird- and hard to keep up.
- Back to the regular Swan site, Sawyer's throwing down a massive guilt trip- holy shitballs! Juliet is still alive. And so is Sayid- barely.
- Sayid is preparing to die- somebody is going to have to help him.
- Hurley is doing the worst Han Solo performance of all time. And now Jacob is around. I'm betting only Hurley can see him. Not a "blue glowy thing." Damn, my one prediction is wrong.
- Sun and Jin on alt. flight 815- this is hard to keep up with- if I die from the head flash sickness, tell Mrs. B. I love her.
- Shannon is not even on the flight- confirmed by Boone. Locke was able to go on the Walkabout. This is blowing my mind.
- Here we go. FLocke and Ben after killing Jacob. Ben seems to be feeling a bit guilty. What a little weasel.
- Uh oh. FLocke wants a piece of the ageless, eyeliner man Riccardus.
- Lapidus and Sun are trying to figure out what the hell is going.
- Richard shows Ben the bad news. Ben done f***ed up.
- Trying to dig up Juliet from the Swan site. I'm glad they're trying to save the white girl, but by the way, there's an Iraqi savage dying up at the top of the crater.
- Jacob orders Hurley to bring Sayid to the Temple. Hopefully we'll find out what is in that damn guitar case soon enough.
- Hurley is funny. That's all I have to say on that one.
- Sawyer is planning to kill Jack- I'm going to bet that won't happen.
- Back in alt. time- Jack is going to help Charlie who is apparently ODing on some black tar heroin (haha- I don't actually know what kind of heroin he was using, I just heard about that kind previously- it could also be China White!)
- Sayid helping Jack out to save Charlie.
- Charlie was trying to swallow heroin. Excellent try my fellow musician.
- Back in regular time, Sawyer finds Juliet. She is in worse shape than Lindsey Lohan's regular Saturday night out.
- Juliet says she hit the bomb. But why are they still there? I love and hate this mindbending stuff.
- Hurley, I apologize, that was a much better hero speech.
- Richard is asking Ben what happened. Bram is deciding to be a hero and he brought Ben with him inside the statue.
- Bram went Dolph Lundgrin on FLocke, and I have a feeling that that was a bad move... oh snap. It's the Monster.
- Wow, the ash really keeps the Smoke Monster at bay. Too bad, Bram is now outside the ring and getting his head smacked around.
- FLocke admits he is the Monster. Mystery #1516 solved.
- Juliet is alive, but seems to be going crazy. She's probably going to die.
- Who wants to bet Juliet died "with child." Sawyer is going to kick Jack's ass.
- Back in alt. time, Charlie says he was "supposed to die."
- Now where is Desmond? Hmm...
- Matt Parkman from Heroes is piloting the plane- hopefully he's not trying to sabotage the competition by landing the plane.
- It's interesting that the plane didn't crash, but how does that affect the overall storyline? I suppose we'll have to wait and find out.
- Jack and Locke are the last two off the plane. They both feel like they had a greater destiny.
- It's now day time, and Sayid looks to be alive- I guess.
- Miles is hanging back with Sawyer to bury Juliet. Miles can talk to dead people- Coincidence, I think not.
- Back to alt. time- we're in the terminal and Jack is called to the courtesy phone. "Your destiny is calling you..."
- Oops, Jack's dad's casket ain't on the plane.
- Now, we're going into the Temple. It is literally unreal that Sayid is still alive.
- Good thing none of these people know what they hell they are doing. I hope I'm never dying on the island and need them to help me.
- Oh, of course, it's the Others- or some others at least.
- Oh great, another Temple. Yikes.
- Kate is now with the Marshall in alt. time. I liked him better when he was coughing up blood after Sawyer shot him.
- Kate stole Jack's pen and she's picking the lock with it.
- Awesome, Kate's on the run again. And Sawyer is going to help her out- probably.
- Sawyer still has the smooth moves- he helps Kate escape.
- Sawyer knows Miles' power- he's going to do some dead people talking.
- "It worked." Thanks for being as vague as possible LOST.
- Creepy Asian guy alert. Hey, Cindy is around. That's weird.
- Hurley went with "Jacob sent us."
- Open that case Hurley- DO IT!
- Ooooh- an Ankh. With a message in it.
- Looks like Sayid is getting the help he needs.
- New mystery- "What's on the paper?" Great. I thought we were getting more answers rather than more questions! Such is LOST.
- Back in alt. time- Jin is getting detained. C'mon Sun, tell them that you understand English. Oh, you bad minx! Still denying it!
- Wow- the Fountain of Youth- AKA Richards bathtub.
- This Asian guy is freaking me out.
- Risks? Jack doesn't care- he's damn near a Man of Faith at this point. Throw Sayid in the magical bathtub.
- Of course they need an hourglass.
- And, of course, they can't tell the newbies to the Temple to just chill out.
- Love the "Jesus Pose" Sayid. Someone make an action figure of that.
- Sayid is not dead. I disagree. Jack has the magic touch on this. I've seen him use it on Charlie.
- Back in alt. time- baggage claim and Kate is running. Awesome.
- The Asian lady in the Authorized area looked like Cindy Kim from Harold and Kumar.
- Ha! Frogurt sighting- what a douche.
- The Marshall spots Kate- and she's in Claire's cab! Nice twist LOST writers!
- Hey! It's a Zack and Emma sighting.
- Asian guy doing some Zen Gardening. Easy there Mr. Belding.
- Hurley is going to have to break some bad news to Temple-folk. Oh, I love that they are breaking out the volcanic ash.
- Back to FLocke and Ben. They could do a spin-off like the "Odd Couple" of these two.
- The last thought of John Locke was "I don't understand." Yes, it was a sad thing.
- The Monster wants to "go home?" Finds some ruby red slippers, Dorothy, and click those bitches three times!
- Miles knows that Sayid isn't dead- I can see it in his eyes.
- The Others are protecting the 815ers now. Weird, eh?
- Uh oh, Sawyer is thinking about killing Jack. Or not, I guess. Thanks for playing with us LOST.
- Back in alt. time, Jack is breaking bad news about his father's casket being LOST. Locke had a bag LOST as well, bringing Locke and Jack together in alt. time.
- Jack asks Locke about his wheelchair situation- Jack offers to help Locke out with a free consult.
- Back to Richard and the Others on the beach. FLocke kung-fu's Richard's ass!
- Richard must be of more importance than we even thought. That's why he's getting thrown over FLocke's shoulder like he's a rag doll.
- Sayid is back alive- I like it.
So that's it. If you ask me, that was an awesome Season 6 premiere. I can't wait to see where these storylines go. Until next week...
- First prediction: Jacob turns into a "blue glowy thing" from Star Wars.
- Alright, starting exactly from the end of the last season with a white screen- now we see Jack on Oceanic 815... except Cindy the flight attendant only gives him one extra bottle of mini booze. I hate this alternate timeline already!
- What kind of shoddy overhead bins allow a bag to fall from above! Ridiculous.
- Rose is comforting Jack instead of the other way around... success #1- Rose and Bernard aren't separated!
- Jack goes to the bathroom only to stare into the mirror. That is one hell of a wound on his neck. Jeez.
- Desmond is on the plane! What the hell. I guess he really isn't pushing the button on the island. "See ya in another life" is really taking on a new meaning.
- What do we find with a deep sea camera expetition- The Titanic, Dhamaville and the Four Toed Statue. W.T.F.
- LOST is living up to it's mindf*** billing has now placed us back to 1977, with Juliet- oh wait, what the hell- Kate is on top of a tree. That just doesn't seem possible.
- Dude, Kate, you shouldn't have been so close to the speakers at the Danzig concert!
- Sound is back to normal. Thank Christ.
- Miles is alive, and Kate judo chops him.
- Kate has found her and Miles and Jack and they are back in "not 1977."
- Sawyer kicked Jack in the face. IN THE FACE!
- Jack is finding himself in the same predicament as Locke did at the beginning of Season 3.
- Ok, back to the alternate 815 flight. Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, and even Artz are making appearances. Hurley owns Mr. Cluck's Chicken. "Nothing bad ever happens" to Hurley. Uhh... this is getting weird- and hard to keep up.
- Back to the regular Swan site, Sawyer's throwing down a massive guilt trip- holy shitballs! Juliet is still alive. And so is Sayid- barely.
- Sayid is preparing to die- somebody is going to have to help him.
- Hurley is doing the worst Han Solo performance of all time. And now Jacob is around. I'm betting only Hurley can see him. Not a "blue glowy thing." Damn, my one prediction is wrong.
- Sun and Jin on alt. flight 815- this is hard to keep up with- if I die from the head flash sickness, tell Mrs. B. I love her.
- Shannon is not even on the flight- confirmed by Boone. Locke was able to go on the Walkabout. This is blowing my mind.
- Here we go. FLocke and Ben after killing Jacob. Ben seems to be feeling a bit guilty. What a little weasel.
- Uh oh. FLocke wants a piece of the ageless, eyeliner man Riccardus.
- Lapidus and Sun are trying to figure out what the hell is going.
- Richard shows Ben the bad news. Ben done f***ed up.
- Trying to dig up Juliet from the Swan site. I'm glad they're trying to save the white girl, but by the way, there's an Iraqi savage dying up at the top of the crater.
- Jacob orders Hurley to bring Sayid to the Temple. Hopefully we'll find out what is in that damn guitar case soon enough.
- Hurley is funny. That's all I have to say on that one.
- Sawyer is planning to kill Jack- I'm going to bet that won't happen.
- Back in alt. time- Jack is going to help Charlie who is apparently ODing on some black tar heroin (haha- I don't actually know what kind of heroin he was using, I just heard about that kind previously- it could also be China White!)
- Sayid helping Jack out to save Charlie.
- Charlie was trying to swallow heroin. Excellent try my fellow musician.
- Back in regular time, Sawyer finds Juliet. She is in worse shape than Lindsey Lohan's regular Saturday night out.
- Juliet says she hit the bomb. But why are they still there? I love and hate this mindbending stuff.
- Hurley, I apologize, that was a much better hero speech.
- Richard is asking Ben what happened. Bram is deciding to be a hero and he brought Ben with him inside the statue.
- Bram went Dolph Lundgrin on FLocke, and I have a feeling that that was a bad move... oh snap. It's the Monster.
- Wow, the ash really keeps the Smoke Monster at bay. Too bad, Bram is now outside the ring and getting his head smacked around.
- FLocke admits he is the Monster. Mystery #1516 solved.
- Juliet is alive, but seems to be going crazy. She's probably going to die.
- Who wants to bet Juliet died "with child." Sawyer is going to kick Jack's ass.
- Back in alt. time, Charlie says he was "supposed to die."
- Now where is Desmond? Hmm...
- Matt Parkman from Heroes is piloting the plane- hopefully he's not trying to sabotage the competition by landing the plane.
- It's interesting that the plane didn't crash, but how does that affect the overall storyline? I suppose we'll have to wait and find out.
- Jack and Locke are the last two off the plane. They both feel like they had a greater destiny.
- It's now day time, and Sayid looks to be alive- I guess.
- Miles is hanging back with Sawyer to bury Juliet. Miles can talk to dead people- Coincidence, I think not.
- Back to alt. time- we're in the terminal and Jack is called to the courtesy phone. "Your destiny is calling you..."
- Oops, Jack's dad's casket ain't on the plane.
- Now, we're going into the Temple. It is literally unreal that Sayid is still alive.
- Good thing none of these people know what they hell they are doing. I hope I'm never dying on the island and need them to help me.
- Oh, of course, it's the Others- or some others at least.
- Oh great, another Temple. Yikes.
- Kate is now with the Marshall in alt. time. I liked him better when he was coughing up blood after Sawyer shot him.
- Kate stole Jack's pen and she's picking the lock with it.
- Awesome, Kate's on the run again. And Sawyer is going to help her out- probably.
- Sawyer still has the smooth moves- he helps Kate escape.
- Sawyer knows Miles' power- he's going to do some dead people talking.
- "It worked." Thanks for being as vague as possible LOST.
- Creepy Asian guy alert. Hey, Cindy is around. That's weird.
- Hurley went with "Jacob sent us."
- Open that case Hurley- DO IT!
- Ooooh- an Ankh. With a message in it.
- Looks like Sayid is getting the help he needs.
- New mystery- "What's on the paper?" Great. I thought we were getting more answers rather than more questions! Such is LOST.
- Back in alt. time- Jin is getting detained. C'mon Sun, tell them that you understand English. Oh, you bad minx! Still denying it!
- Wow- the Fountain of Youth- AKA Richards bathtub.
- This Asian guy is freaking me out.
- Risks? Jack doesn't care- he's damn near a Man of Faith at this point. Throw Sayid in the magical bathtub.
- Of course they need an hourglass.
- And, of course, they can't tell the newbies to the Temple to just chill out.
- Love the "Jesus Pose" Sayid. Someone make an action figure of that.
- Sayid is not dead. I disagree. Jack has the magic touch on this. I've seen him use it on Charlie.
- Back in alt. time- baggage claim and Kate is running. Awesome.
- The Asian lady in the Authorized area looked like Cindy Kim from Harold and Kumar.
- Ha! Frogurt sighting- what a douche.
- The Marshall spots Kate- and she's in Claire's cab! Nice twist LOST writers!
- Hey! It's a Zack and Emma sighting.
- Asian guy doing some Zen Gardening. Easy there Mr. Belding.
- Hurley is going to have to break some bad news to Temple-folk. Oh, I love that they are breaking out the volcanic ash.
- Back to FLocke and Ben. They could do a spin-off like the "Odd Couple" of these two.
- The last thought of John Locke was "I don't understand." Yes, it was a sad thing.
- The Monster wants to "go home?" Finds some ruby red slippers, Dorothy, and click those bitches three times!
- Miles knows that Sayid isn't dead- I can see it in his eyes.
- The Others are protecting the 815ers now. Weird, eh?
- Uh oh, Sawyer is thinking about killing Jack. Or not, I guess. Thanks for playing with us LOST.
- Back in alt. time, Jack is breaking bad news about his father's casket being LOST. Locke had a bag LOST as well, bringing Locke and Jack together in alt. time.
- Jack asks Locke about his wheelchair situation- Jack offers to help Locke out with a free consult.
- Back to Richard and the Others on the beach. FLocke kung-fu's Richard's ass!
- Richard must be of more importance than we even thought. That's why he's getting thrown over FLocke's shoulder like he's a rag doll.
- Sayid is back alive- I like it.
So that's it. If you ask me, that was an awesome Season 6 premiere. I can't wait to see where these storylines go. Until next week...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Groundhog Day
Stop me if you've heard this one before... a team hires an offensive coordinator thinking that he can turn said offense into a powerhouse that scores zillions of points. At the same time, that team's head coach is on the hot seat, so many people think that the offensive coordinator that was just hired has ulterior motives for taking the job (i.e. he believes he will supplant the head coach upon the head coach's firing.) Oh, it does sound familiar, you say? Yes, it does- and that's because Mike Martz was hired under the same circumstances in San Francisco as he was just hired under in Chicago yesterday.
Am I disappointed? Yes. I do think there is a high probability that this will end in disaster. Jay Cutler needs to learn more discipline with the football, not have a monkey with a crazy smile and banging cymbals yelling at him to "throw the ball deep!" In that sense, I am very worried about the Bears.
Is there possible success? Yes. Martz would not be my first choice as coordinator, but he's also not last on the list. As long as he doesn't try to sign J.T. O'Sullivan to replace Cutler as the starting QB, there is still a possibility that Martz's crazy schemes work and the Bears' offense starts producing points at a rapid rate. The definitely need an improved offensive line and they also need to not forget about Matt Forte (or whoever is running the ball- they need an improved running game is my overall point.) I don't trust Martz to do that, but I'm going to reserve my judgment and see what the mad scientist has up his sleeve.
The biggest issue I have is that the Bears' offense was actually not that bad late in the season. They seemed to have gelled to some degree and beat Brett Favre in what will hopefully be his last trip to Soldier Field.
The defense is probably more of the issue- which should be helped by the return of field general Brian Urlacher. I'm more concerned about who they will hire as defensive coordinator (and I can't help wondering why they ever fired Ron Rivera after they went to the Super Bowl?!?!?!?)
So stop me if you've heard this all before. I've seen this franchise run itself in circles since firing Mike Dikta as coach in 1992. True, they accidentally got to the Super Bowl on the back of Devin Hester and a good defense, but they have no idea who they are or what they want to be. I have a feeling Lovie Smith's monotone message has grown stale, and he will eventually be fired. That said, I hope to the heavens above that Mike Martz doesn't replace him.
Am I disappointed? Yes. I do think there is a high probability that this will end in disaster. Jay Cutler needs to learn more discipline with the football, not have a monkey with a crazy smile and banging cymbals yelling at him to "throw the ball deep!" In that sense, I am very worried about the Bears.
Is there possible success? Yes. Martz would not be my first choice as coordinator, but he's also not last on the list. As long as he doesn't try to sign J.T. O'Sullivan to replace Cutler as the starting QB, there is still a possibility that Martz's crazy schemes work and the Bears' offense starts producing points at a rapid rate. The definitely need an improved offensive line and they also need to not forget about Matt Forte (or whoever is running the ball- they need an improved running game is my overall point.) I don't trust Martz to do that, but I'm going to reserve my judgment and see what the mad scientist has up his sleeve.
The biggest issue I have is that the Bears' offense was actually not that bad late in the season. They seemed to have gelled to some degree and beat Brett Favre in what will hopefully be his last trip to Soldier Field.
The defense is probably more of the issue- which should be helped by the return of field general Brian Urlacher. I'm more concerned about who they will hire as defensive coordinator (and I can't help wondering why they ever fired Ron Rivera after they went to the Super Bowl?!?!?!?)
So stop me if you've heard this all before. I've seen this franchise run itself in circles since firing Mike Dikta as coach in 1992. True, they accidentally got to the Super Bowl on the back of Devin Hester and a good defense, but they have no idea who they are or what they want to be. I have a feeling Lovie Smith's monotone message has grown stale, and he will eventually be fired. That said, I hope to the heavens above that Mike Martz doesn't replace him.
Monday, February 1, 2010
A Case of the Mondays
Honestly, none of you want to hear about my weekend. No shows. Didn't watch any movies. We know there were great sporting events on TV. I mean, what is there to write about? Hmm... let me see if I have anything I can come up with that will be remotely of interest:
- As a musician, you'd probably think I watched the Grammys and hope to one day receive one. Well, that is not true. While I obviously would accept if offered, I would never measure my success as a musician on whether or not I received a Grammy award. There are too many phenomenal musicians that are overlooked year after year by the Grammys to take the award show completely seriously. The Grammys are a Pop Culture award, for the most part, and the award show plays the part (and is boring.) I watched two things, the overdone performance of "21 Guns" by Green Day and a cast of thousands. Apparently having Green Day perform the song by themselves was not big enough for the Grammys, so a bunch of other singers participated. It was very boring.
The second was a naked Pink doing a high wire gymnastics act while drenched in some liquid (I'm not even going to guess what it was.) While her outfit would have looked nice on many other women, Pink just grosses me out. I've never found her attractive, and it definitely affected my perception of this performance.
I don't know who won any of the awards, I'll probably read about that later. I wish they could find a way to make it more interesting. I watched a large portion of the Pro Bowl, which obviously should not be more interesting than re-runs of Seinfeld, let alone the Grammys.
- Speaking of the Pro Bowl... the NFC sucks. How in the world do you lose to an "all-star" team of quarterbacks like Matt Schaub, Vince Young and David Garrad? You give Tony Romo the reigns- that's how. This game deserves no more virtual ink, it was boring, and I'd like to reiterate my hate for Chris Berman. He ruins everything he's involved with.
- LOST is coming back on Tuesday, so you can expect a Wednesday live blog of the 2 hour season premier. That's going to be a late night for me, as we're starting another Men's Basketball League that same night, but that's what I do- I'm a giver.
Yeah, I'm aware that this weekend was pretty boring, but at least we have the Super Bowl coming up this weekend, and Pitchers and Catchers Report the following week! Can't wait to see how the Cubs are going to rip my heart out this year...
- As a musician, you'd probably think I watched the Grammys and hope to one day receive one. Well, that is not true. While I obviously would accept if offered, I would never measure my success as a musician on whether or not I received a Grammy award. There are too many phenomenal musicians that are overlooked year after year by the Grammys to take the award show completely seriously. The Grammys are a Pop Culture award, for the most part, and the award show plays the part (and is boring.) I watched two things, the overdone performance of "21 Guns" by Green Day and a cast of thousands. Apparently having Green Day perform the song by themselves was not big enough for the Grammys, so a bunch of other singers participated. It was very boring.
The second was a naked Pink doing a high wire gymnastics act while drenched in some liquid (I'm not even going to guess what it was.) While her outfit would have looked nice on many other women, Pink just grosses me out. I've never found her attractive, and it definitely affected my perception of this performance.
I don't know who won any of the awards, I'll probably read about that later. I wish they could find a way to make it more interesting. I watched a large portion of the Pro Bowl, which obviously should not be more interesting than re-runs of Seinfeld, let alone the Grammys.
- Speaking of the Pro Bowl... the NFC sucks. How in the world do you lose to an "all-star" team of quarterbacks like Matt Schaub, Vince Young and David Garrad? You give Tony Romo the reigns- that's how. This game deserves no more virtual ink, it was boring, and I'd like to reiterate my hate for Chris Berman. He ruins everything he's involved with.
- LOST is coming back on Tuesday, so you can expect a Wednesday live blog of the 2 hour season premier. That's going to be a late night for me, as we're starting another Men's Basketball League that same night, but that's what I do- I'm a giver.
Yeah, I'm aware that this weekend was pretty boring, but at least we have the Super Bowl coming up this weekend, and Pitchers and Catchers Report the following week! Can't wait to see how the Cubs are going to rip my heart out this year...
Friday, January 29, 2010
The Opposite of Preference
Initially, I was going to talk about plagiarism (accidental and purposeful) today because this was found yesterday: CLICK HERE. It is awfully similar to the post I put up 8 days previous: CLICK HERE. Now, as the second commenter mentioned (on the CBSSports.com post- which happened to have a link on the homepage), Bill Simmons apparently did something similar at the beginning of the playoffs. I haven't read Bill Simmons' stuff in quite sometime, so I have no idea if I ripped off his idea. Anyway, I don't know if these guys came across my blog and ripped the idea off, or if they are just as genius as I am and came up with it on their own. Feel free to check it out and draw your own conclusions.
Now- on to the daily topic: Andre Dawson is the man. "The Hawk" was recently voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame and I'm pumped for him. I know that not everyone gets two of their favorite players from their childhood into the Hall of Fame (with a third on the way in Greg Maddux) so I couldn't be happier. What is interesting, though, is the Hall of Fame selecting Andre Dawson's Hall of Fame bust's hat instead of having him select it for himself.
Essentially, the Hall of Fame is going to immortalize Dawson as a Montreal Expo rather than his own preference of being a Chicago Cub. Players used to be able to select their own team until Wade Boggs was reportedly going to get paid loads of cash to select the Tampa Bay Devil Rays hat for his bust. Upon hearing that, the Hall of Fame stripped the players' ability to choose and mandated that they will choose for them instead.
And I do get that rationale to a certain degree. I mean, Wade Boggs was a legendary Red Sox player who ate chicken all the time and always had a batting average higher than Snoop Dogg's normal state of mind. Then Boggs went to play for Red Sox' bitter rival New York Yankees only to be on a World Series championship team and ride a horse around the stadium. It's obvious he was no stranger to trading out on his old team, so why not wear a Devil Rays cap in the Hall of Fame? I mean he did play for the Devil Rays for two whole seasons (though only a total of 213 games.) Hell, he played for the Yankees for 4 seasons and won a World Series with them. There's more of an argument for him to be a Yankee than a Devil Ray.
So, the Hall of Fame stepped in and immortalized Boggs as a Red Sox (or is it a Red Sock- what a stupid team name.) Andre Dawson is a completely different case, yet the Hall of Fame is stepping in on this situation as well. Dawson played 11 years in Montreal and was very good winning 6 gold gloves there and finishing second twice in the MVP voting. However, in his six years with the Cubs, Dawson won two more gold gloves and had a monster MVP season in 1987. "The Hawk" said his preference was to go into the Hall as a Cub. One would think, "Wow, this is pretty close, why don't we go with the inductees preference?" Yeah, why don't you?
The Hall committee explained that for historical purposes, they're going to put him in as an Expo. Since the club no longer exists, they want to have a few members in the Hall to represent the now defunct team. Awesome. I can't believe the Hall is concerned with memorializing a team that never won a championship and was completely annoying. Also, the best chance they ever had to winning a championship was 1994. What happened? Baseball went on strike! The season was truncated and there was no World Series. Is any of this Andre Dawson's fault (or Gary Carter's for that matter)? Nope. But the Hall won't respect Dawson's preference.
Here's a novel idea. Have a Montreal Expos exhibit and talk about all the great things they did while they existed. Here are a few things to include:
- Their stadium was basically asphalt with carpet over it. It ruined and shortened many players' careers by tearing up their knees- including Andre Dawson's.
- They once had Felipe Alou as their manager.
- Dave Dravecky's arm pretty much fell off while on the mound in Montreal.
- Tim Raines' nickname was "Rock."
- The Expos were named after the Expo 67 World's Fair. It is an even worse team name than any team name that ends with an "X." In fact, in the history of baseball, it is the worst team name ever.
- With players like Larry Walker, Marquis Grissom, and Moises Alou, the Expos were so annoying to play. However, I do like the fact that the Cubs clinched the NL East on their home turf in 1989.
So as you can see, the Hall has plenty of reasons to force their decision on Andre Dawson. Why not immortalize a horrible franchise that couldn't stay in business?
I really believe the Hall should rethink their decision making process and at least take player's requests more seriously. We're going to run into this situation more and more with the increase in play movement due to free agency. They should start re-evaluating the whole process now to avoid mistakes like this in the future.
Now- on to the daily topic: Andre Dawson is the man. "The Hawk" was recently voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame and I'm pumped for him. I know that not everyone gets two of their favorite players from their childhood into the Hall of Fame (with a third on the way in Greg Maddux) so I couldn't be happier. What is interesting, though, is the Hall of Fame selecting Andre Dawson's Hall of Fame bust's hat instead of having him select it for himself.
Essentially, the Hall of Fame is going to immortalize Dawson as a Montreal Expo rather than his own preference of being a Chicago Cub. Players used to be able to select their own team until Wade Boggs was reportedly going to get paid loads of cash to select the Tampa Bay Devil Rays hat for his bust. Upon hearing that, the Hall of Fame stripped the players' ability to choose and mandated that they will choose for them instead.
And I do get that rationale to a certain degree. I mean, Wade Boggs was a legendary Red Sox player who ate chicken all the time and always had a batting average higher than Snoop Dogg's normal state of mind. Then Boggs went to play for Red Sox' bitter rival New York Yankees only to be on a World Series championship team and ride a horse around the stadium. It's obvious he was no stranger to trading out on his old team, so why not wear a Devil Rays cap in the Hall of Fame? I mean he did play for the Devil Rays for two whole seasons (though only a total of 213 games.) Hell, he played for the Yankees for 4 seasons and won a World Series with them. There's more of an argument for him to be a Yankee than a Devil Ray.
So, the Hall of Fame stepped in and immortalized Boggs as a Red Sox (or is it a Red Sock- what a stupid team name.) Andre Dawson is a completely different case, yet the Hall of Fame is stepping in on this situation as well. Dawson played 11 years in Montreal and was very good winning 6 gold gloves there and finishing second twice in the MVP voting. However, in his six years with the Cubs, Dawson won two more gold gloves and had a monster MVP season in 1987. "The Hawk" said his preference was to go into the Hall as a Cub. One would think, "Wow, this is pretty close, why don't we go with the inductees preference?" Yeah, why don't you?
The Hall committee explained that for historical purposes, they're going to put him in as an Expo. Since the club no longer exists, they want to have a few members in the Hall to represent the now defunct team. Awesome. I can't believe the Hall is concerned with memorializing a team that never won a championship and was completely annoying. Also, the best chance they ever had to winning a championship was 1994. What happened? Baseball went on strike! The season was truncated and there was no World Series. Is any of this Andre Dawson's fault (or Gary Carter's for that matter)? Nope. But the Hall won't respect Dawson's preference.
Here's a novel idea. Have a Montreal Expos exhibit and talk about all the great things they did while they existed. Here are a few things to include:
- Their stadium was basically asphalt with carpet over it. It ruined and shortened many players' careers by tearing up their knees- including Andre Dawson's.
- They once had Felipe Alou as their manager.
- Dave Dravecky's arm pretty much fell off while on the mound in Montreal.
- Tim Raines' nickname was "Rock."
- The Expos were named after the Expo 67 World's Fair. It is an even worse team name than any team name that ends with an "X." In fact, in the history of baseball, it is the worst team name ever.
- With players like Larry Walker, Marquis Grissom, and Moises Alou, the Expos were so annoying to play. However, I do like the fact that the Cubs clinched the NL East on their home turf in 1989.
So as you can see, the Hall has plenty of reasons to force their decision on Andre Dawson. Why not immortalize a horrible franchise that couldn't stay in business?
I really believe the Hall should rethink their decision making process and at least take player's requests more seriously. We're going to run into this situation more and more with the increase in play movement due to free agency. They should start re-evaluating the whole process now to avoid mistakes like this in the future.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Video Melting Pot
First off, I had a very vivid dream last night that confused/amazed/frightened me. I didn't watch much in the way of sports last night, so my dream revolved around the fact that I just found out that LeBron James was traded to... wait for it... the Boston Celtics (yes, this was a completely unrealistic dream.) It felt so real. I was watching highlights of LeBron in a kelly-green jersey and I was so confused. Why would the Cavs trade King James? Why would they trade him to the Celtics? I literally was thinking of business scenarios of how to justify such a boldly stupid move.
Then I woke up and realized that the world hadn't gone crazy and LeBron was still with the Cavs. I mean, I'm no fan of the Cavs, but trading LeBron would definitely shatter my belief in a rational world. If he was traded, I'd probably think I was in The Matrix and just try to jump off a building because there's obviously no way we were in the real world.
Here is a hodge-podge of cool videos:
Tom Dwan wins the largest televised poker pot in history:
LOST fans are about to get really annoying- this is probably more true than I'd care to admit:
Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever
I saw this on Tosh.0 last night. It's a guy who deadlifts 300+ pounds, then has a problem afterward. Notice, he uses all back when lifting the weight- just like you're supposed to, right? Yikes.
Oh, and can we please put to rest all the "Hitler Finds Out About ____" videos. Yeah, the joke works in multiple situations. But I already know that Hilter feels the same way about the new iPad as he does about T.O. signing with the Buffalo Bills. The joke is old. Retire it. Hang it from the rafters. It was once funny, but now, not so much.
Then I woke up and realized that the world hadn't gone crazy and LeBron was still with the Cavs. I mean, I'm no fan of the Cavs, but trading LeBron would definitely shatter my belief in a rational world. If he was traded, I'd probably think I was in The Matrix and just try to jump off a building because there's obviously no way we were in the real world.
Here is a hodge-podge of cool videos:
Tom Dwan wins the largest televised poker pot in history:
LOST fans are about to get really annoying- this is probably more true than I'd care to admit:
Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever
I saw this on Tosh.0 last night. It's a guy who deadlifts 300+ pounds, then has a problem afterward. Notice, he uses all back when lifting the weight- just like you're supposed to, right? Yikes.
Oh, and can we please put to rest all the "Hitler Finds Out About ____" videos. Yeah, the joke works in multiple situations. But I already know that Hilter feels the same way about the new iPad as he does about T.O. signing with the Buffalo Bills. The joke is old. Retire it. Hang it from the rafters. It was once funny, but now, not so much.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Money For Nothing?
In an odd move yesterday, the Oakland A's signed Ben Sheets to a 1 year/$10 million (+ incentives) deal. Sheets did not pitch last year and, while he's expected to be healthy at this point, has been injury prone his entire career. One might ask why the A's would make this signing, and the answer is pretty simple:
- If it works out, they think they have a chance at making the playoffs.
- If it doesn't work out, they will trade Sheets, save on the remainder of his salary, and gather prospects.
- If he plays the full year with them, they can offer him arbitration and receive draft pick(s) when he signs elsewhere.
Now, all of these scenarios don't include Sheets injuring himself in April and not being able to pitch the rest of the year. Oakland must feel that Sheets is quite healthy, otherwise, I have no idea why they would sign him.
On the other side of the Rocky Mountains and Great Plains, the Chicago Cubs sign Xavier Nady to a 1 year/$3.3 million (+ incentives) deal to theoretically give the Cubs more outfield depth. Nady played a whopping seven games with the Yankees last year before going under the knife for his second Tommy John surgery.
This signing is pending a physical, but I imagine Nady will be on the Cubs' roster this year. That creates an outfield of Soriano in Left, Marlon Byrd in Center, and Fukudome in Right, with Nady filling in as needed.
If all of these guys are healthy, I can see this being a decent outfield. The problem is that Nady his injury issues, Soriano slumped all of last season and is also injury prone, and the other two guys aren't exactly on my list of top outfielders.
My main point is that I wish I had a job where a company would pay me millions of dollars after I have been out for a year. I mean, it's already cool enough that they get to play baseball in front of thousands of people every night (well, at least hundreds since Sheets will be playing in Oakland.) But to get injured, be out for a year, and then return to a contract of $1 million, $3 million, or even $10 million is just amazing. I have a hard time believing many other companies would do something like that, but I suppose I could be wrong.
So good luck Sheets and Nady. My your brittle bodies make it through the season and bring some value to the teams that overpaid for you. Is it still too late to become a left handed pitcher? Ah yes, I'm right handed and haven't played organized baseball since age 12... Damn.
- If it works out, they think they have a chance at making the playoffs.
- If it doesn't work out, they will trade Sheets, save on the remainder of his salary, and gather prospects.
- If he plays the full year with them, they can offer him arbitration and receive draft pick(s) when he signs elsewhere.
Now, all of these scenarios don't include Sheets injuring himself in April and not being able to pitch the rest of the year. Oakland must feel that Sheets is quite healthy, otherwise, I have no idea why they would sign him.
On the other side of the Rocky Mountains and Great Plains, the Chicago Cubs sign Xavier Nady to a 1 year/$3.3 million (+ incentives) deal to theoretically give the Cubs more outfield depth. Nady played a whopping seven games with the Yankees last year before going under the knife for his second Tommy John surgery.
This signing is pending a physical, but I imagine Nady will be on the Cubs' roster this year. That creates an outfield of Soriano in Left, Marlon Byrd in Center, and Fukudome in Right, with Nady filling in as needed.
If all of these guys are healthy, I can see this being a decent outfield. The problem is that Nady his injury issues, Soriano slumped all of last season and is also injury prone, and the other two guys aren't exactly on my list of top outfielders.
My main point is that I wish I had a job where a company would pay me millions of dollars after I have been out for a year. I mean, it's already cool enough that they get to play baseball in front of thousands of people every night (well, at least hundreds since Sheets will be playing in Oakland.) But to get injured, be out for a year, and then return to a contract of $1 million, $3 million, or even $10 million is just amazing. I have a hard time believing many other companies would do something like that, but I suppose I could be wrong.
So good luck Sheets and Nady. My your brittle bodies make it through the season and bring some value to the teams that overpaid for you. Is it still too late to become a left handed pitcher? Ah yes, I'm right handed and haven't played organized baseball since age 12... Damn.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Prank Gone Wrong
Some of you might be familiar with the Prank War on CollegeHumor.com. If you haven't seen the prank where Streeter makes his friend Amir think he's made a half-court shot, then check it out here:
CLICK HERE (No embedding allowed on this video)
The basic deal is that Streeter brings his buddy to a Maryland basketball game, and during halftime, rigs it so he gets to shoot a half court shot for $500,000. That catch is that he's blindfolded. The crowd is in on the gag and regardless of result, they will cheer as if he made the shot. He misses, but believes he has just won $500,000. Then Streeter comes out and Amir realizes he's been pranked.
Anyway, some high school students attempted to copy this prank by offering their high school girls' basketball coach (and former Kansas player, Joel Branstrom) tickets to this year's Final Four. This prank doesn't work out quite as well...
Yes folks. Coach Branstrom sunk the half court shot. Nice prank, kids. Obviously, the didn't have Final Four tickets, so they got him a gift certificate to a Mexican restaurant. Totally weak. How in the world are you going to promise top college basketball action and one of the world's best sporting events, and instead, give the poor guy diarrhea? It doesn't seem fair.
Apparently, there have already been some offers of people who want to donate Final Four tickets to the coach, so he may get to go after all. Moral of the story: be careful when you prank someone because the joke may end up being on you.
CLICK HERE (No embedding allowed on this video)
The basic deal is that Streeter brings his buddy to a Maryland basketball game, and during halftime, rigs it so he gets to shoot a half court shot for $500,000. That catch is that he's blindfolded. The crowd is in on the gag and regardless of result, they will cheer as if he made the shot. He misses, but believes he has just won $500,000. Then Streeter comes out and Amir realizes he's been pranked.
Anyway, some high school students attempted to copy this prank by offering their high school girls' basketball coach (and former Kansas player, Joel Branstrom) tickets to this year's Final Four. This prank doesn't work out quite as well...
Yes folks. Coach Branstrom sunk the half court shot. Nice prank, kids. Obviously, the didn't have Final Four tickets, so they got him a gift certificate to a Mexican restaurant. Totally weak. How in the world are you going to promise top college basketball action and one of the world's best sporting events, and instead, give the poor guy diarrhea? It doesn't seem fair.
Apparently, there have already been some offers of people who want to donate Final Four tickets to the coach, so he may get to go after all. Moral of the story: be careful when you prank someone because the joke may end up being on you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
A Case of the Mondays
I've got three things to talk about today-
1) I finally saw Avatar. While we were unable to make it out to an IMAX viewing, we did see it in 3D which was quite amazing. I'm used to watching 3D stuff with this paper glasses that have one lens of deep red and the other lens is blue. This was not the case at all for Avatar. The movie's colors were not distorted and the field of vision was amazing to watch. The movie itself was very good, despite the storyline feeling like it's been done before (Ferngully, anyone?)
A pretty funny sidenote: Spencer Hawes of the Sacramento Kings admitted he was cheering for the humans to win the final battle during Avatar. So let me get this straight, Spencer- you wanted the characters that were portrayed as money hungry and ruthless militarist a-holes to rape and pillage the foreign planet that they (the humans) had no real reason to be on in the first place? Are you planning on also mentioning that you were watching the History Channel World War II documentary series and that you had to admit that you were cheering for the Nazis to come out on top? Let's file this one in the "keep it to yourself since you are a professional athlete and not a blogger who can say whatever he wants."
2) The Colts and The Jets - I really enjoyed this game. I figured the Colts would win, but the Jets played a very good first half. It really made the dynamic of the game more interesting. Had the Jets got down early, the whole game would have been ruined. As it stood, it was 20-17 going into the 4th quarter, which helped to keep my attention. Peyton Manning (as annoying as he might be) proved why everyone thinks he is such a great QB. He was getting pressured early, yet made some adjustments (that includes his O-Line as well) and he looked much more comfortable in the second half. It was a well-played mental game where the better team won. For the record, I wanted the Colts to win this game, but in general, I hate them and hope they lose in dramatic (like Brett Favre-disaster) fashion.
3) The Saints and The Vikings - Now this was a great game! The Saints' defense took the Ivan Drago "If he dies, he dies" attitude into this game against Brett Favre and it wore him down to the point where he threw across his body for another crushing interception at the end of a NFC championship game. Look, the guy is obviously tough. He took some serious punishment and managed to stay in the game (at age 40!). But let's keep it real, it was his choice to comeback and that's part of the game. If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the place where it will be extremely hot. I hope Favre finally walks away, but knowing him, this loss could restart the exact scenario that brought him back two years ago. Seriously Brett, just retire. It was uncomfortable watching you get carried off the field and then FOX panning to your wife who looked like she was worried for your life. Walk away now, while you still can.
So, as predicted, we have a Colts/Saints Super Bowl. I can't wait to see what storylines develop and it should be a pretty good game. Why do we really have to wait 2 weeks for the Super Bowl? I know everyone needs to be healthy, but c'mon! It's way too long! (At least this isn't College Football, though...)
1) I finally saw Avatar. While we were unable to make it out to an IMAX viewing, we did see it in 3D which was quite amazing. I'm used to watching 3D stuff with this paper glasses that have one lens of deep red and the other lens is blue. This was not the case at all for Avatar. The movie's colors were not distorted and the field of vision was amazing to watch. The movie itself was very good, despite the storyline feeling like it's been done before (Ferngully, anyone?)
A pretty funny sidenote: Spencer Hawes of the Sacramento Kings admitted he was cheering for the humans to win the final battle during Avatar. So let me get this straight, Spencer- you wanted the characters that were portrayed as money hungry and ruthless militarist a-holes to rape and pillage the foreign planet that they (the humans) had no real reason to be on in the first place? Are you planning on also mentioning that you were watching the History Channel World War II documentary series and that you had to admit that you were cheering for the Nazis to come out on top? Let's file this one in the "keep it to yourself since you are a professional athlete and not a blogger who can say whatever he wants."
2) The Colts and The Jets - I really enjoyed this game. I figured the Colts would win, but the Jets played a very good first half. It really made the dynamic of the game more interesting. Had the Jets got down early, the whole game would have been ruined. As it stood, it was 20-17 going into the 4th quarter, which helped to keep my attention. Peyton Manning (as annoying as he might be) proved why everyone thinks he is such a great QB. He was getting pressured early, yet made some adjustments (that includes his O-Line as well) and he looked much more comfortable in the second half. It was a well-played mental game where the better team won. For the record, I wanted the Colts to win this game, but in general, I hate them and hope they lose in dramatic (like Brett Favre-disaster) fashion.
3) The Saints and The Vikings - Now this was a great game! The Saints' defense took the Ivan Drago "If he dies, he dies" attitude into this game against Brett Favre and it wore him down to the point where he threw across his body for another crushing interception at the end of a NFC championship game. Look, the guy is obviously tough. He took some serious punishment and managed to stay in the game (at age 40!). But let's keep it real, it was his choice to comeback and that's part of the game. If you can't take the heat, then stay out of the place where it will be extremely hot. I hope Favre finally walks away, but knowing him, this loss could restart the exact scenario that brought him back two years ago. Seriously Brett, just retire. It was uncomfortable watching you get carried off the field and then FOX panning to your wife who looked like she was worried for your life. Walk away now, while you still can.
So, as predicted, we have a Colts/Saints Super Bowl. I can't wait to see what storylines develop and it should be a pretty good game. Why do we really have to wait 2 weeks for the Super Bowl? I know everyone needs to be healthy, but c'mon! It's way too long! (At least this isn't College Football, though...)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Bathroom Ediquette and Brett Favre
I've been drinking a lot of water recently, I went to the restroom near my office yesterday to relieve myself (number 1.) Normally, it is completely peaceful in this particular bathroom because the outer doors to the building are normally locked so no passer-bys can come in to use it. However, they are doing some construction in the building, so there are construction workers wandering around doing work (hopefully.)
I walk into the restroom not expecting anyone to be in there. Unfortunately, my expectations were dashed immediately. I heard a rustle in the far left stall. I found this odd because out of my peripheral vision, I could see that all the stalls were open. To my extreme disappointment, a construction worker was using the stall (number 2- I could see his feet facing out) with the door wide open. Luckily, I did not have a straight line of sight in to accidentally scar my corneas permanently, but still, close the damn door!
I thought, "He had to have heard me come in- why wouldn't he just shut the stall?" Initially the door was completely open. Because of the way the door is set up, I'm assuming he moved his legs to close the door, however, he did not close it all the way. He left the door a quarter of the way open. It's not like these stalls are the most roomy stalls ever, he could have easily leaned forward and closed it completely, but I suppose that would be too much effort.
My next thought was (and this was mid-urination), "There's no way he's going to come out until I'm done. He's not going to want to show his face." How wrong I was.
I moved to flush the toilet and I hear his toilet flush simultaneously. Damn. I walk to the sink and try to wash my hands and escape before he walks over to the same area. I look in the mirror as the burly construction worker emerges. He makes eye contact with me and walks right out the bathroom door. The nasty dude did not wash his hands. Even better, he placed his newspaper on a bench right outside of the bathroom. How thoughtful! Someone can read your paper and get your fecal germs on them at the same time!
I looked directly to my right and saw a sign that says, "HAND WASHING PREVENTS DISEASE." Why yes it does, but this guy had no regard for combating disease whatsoever. Maybe he's trying to spread the swine flu. That seems like something Brett Favre would do. Speaking of Brett Favre...
Here are my predictions for the weekend:
Saints 38, Vikings 31
Colts 20, Jets 13
You'll get the Saints vs. the Colts in the "Archie Manning Bowl," which is much better than the "Brett Favre Bowl." I'd rather shake hands with the aforementioned construction worker than watch that crap.
I walk into the restroom not expecting anyone to be in there. Unfortunately, my expectations were dashed immediately. I heard a rustle in the far left stall. I found this odd because out of my peripheral vision, I could see that all the stalls were open. To my extreme disappointment, a construction worker was using the stall (number 2- I could see his feet facing out) with the door wide open. Luckily, I did not have a straight line of sight in to accidentally scar my corneas permanently, but still, close the damn door!
I thought, "He had to have heard me come in- why wouldn't he just shut the stall?" Initially the door was completely open. Because of the way the door is set up, I'm assuming he moved his legs to close the door, however, he did not close it all the way. He left the door a quarter of the way open. It's not like these stalls are the most roomy stalls ever, he could have easily leaned forward and closed it completely, but I suppose that would be too much effort.
My next thought was (and this was mid-urination), "There's no way he's going to come out until I'm done. He's not going to want to show his face." How wrong I was.
I moved to flush the toilet and I hear his toilet flush simultaneously. Damn. I walk to the sink and try to wash my hands and escape before he walks over to the same area. I look in the mirror as the burly construction worker emerges. He makes eye contact with me and walks right out the bathroom door. The nasty dude did not wash his hands. Even better, he placed his newspaper on a bench right outside of the bathroom. How thoughtful! Someone can read your paper and get your fecal germs on them at the same time!
I looked directly to my right and saw a sign that says, "HAND WASHING PREVENTS DISEASE." Why yes it does, but this guy had no regard for combating disease whatsoever. Maybe he's trying to spread the swine flu. That seems like something Brett Favre would do. Speaking of Brett Favre...
Here are my predictions for the weekend:
Saints 38, Vikings 31
Colts 20, Jets 13
You'll get the Saints vs. the Colts in the "Archie Manning Bowl," which is much better than the "Brett Favre Bowl." I'd rather shake hands with the aforementioned construction worker than watch that crap.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
LOST Synched Up
In preparation for the Season 6 opener, watch this excellent video that puts together the timeline of the Oceanic 815 plane crash. This is very well made and even splices in the "24" counter:
Pretty sweet, eh?
Pretty sweet, eh?
K-Ci & JoJo Youtube Comments
You might be familiar with many of the internet sites that have the general public write witty comments or send in ridiculous photos and then the webmaster is the only person who profits from it. Great examples of these sites are:
FML.com
PeopleofWalMart.com
TextsFromLastNight.com
Well, I have stumbled upon one that really doesn't exist except on YouTube.com. My employee, Brian keeps mentioning that my Live Band Karaoke band needs to cover a K-Ci & Jo-Jo song- preferably "All My Life."
First I laughed at him. But then I thought about it, and realized maybe it's not a terrible idea. Being the savvy internet user that I am, I went to YouTube to remind myself how the song goes (I know, you're shocked it's not on my iPod- I have limits people.) Anyway, I began to read the comments below the video and it entertained me for quite awhile. In fact, I contend that the comments below this video are the funniest I've seen on YouTube- ever. See for yourself:
K-Ci & JoJo "All My Life"
Since I don't like sitting on the sidelines, I decided to get involved. Here is my comment complete with grammatical errors:
You may have to click on it to see the whole thing. I'm urging everyone to go make a comment on the K-Ci & JoJo video. Try to rile up another YouTube user on the board. Say that you were cheated on and that this song makes you cry gallons of saline. Hell, say that you were a long time groupie and that JoJo gave you the clap. Whatever works for you.
All I know is that these comments are hilarious. Check them out!
FML.com
PeopleofWalMart.com
TextsFromLastNight.com
Well, I have stumbled upon one that really doesn't exist except on YouTube.com. My employee, Brian keeps mentioning that my Live Band Karaoke band needs to cover a K-Ci & Jo-Jo song- preferably "All My Life."
First I laughed at him. But then I thought about it, and realized maybe it's not a terrible idea. Being the savvy internet user that I am, I went to YouTube to remind myself how the song goes (I know, you're shocked it's not on my iPod- I have limits people.) Anyway, I began to read the comments below the video and it entertained me for quite awhile. In fact, I contend that the comments below this video are the funniest I've seen on YouTube- ever. See for yourself:
K-Ci & JoJo "All My Life"
Since I don't like sitting on the sidelines, I decided to get involved. Here is my comment complete with grammatical errors:
You may have to click on it to see the whole thing. I'm urging everyone to go make a comment on the K-Ci & JoJo video. Try to rile up another YouTube user on the board. Say that you were cheated on and that this song makes you cry gallons of saline. Hell, say that you were a long time groupie and that JoJo gave you the clap. Whatever works for you.
All I know is that these comments are hilarious. Check them out!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Jersey Shore vs. The NFL
If you're a reader here, you know that I love the NFL. However, I love other things, too. I love sweet house beats, fist pumping, and watching Jersey Shore. Well, at least one of those things is true.
In order to properly combine two great things, I decided to think about the NFL equivalent of each character on the Jersey Shore. It seems like a funny idea, and truthfully, my other idea was talking about my transaction at the Wendy's Drive Thru yesterday, so we're going to go this way for now.
Angelina = The LA Raiders - Angelina seemed promising at the beginning when she showed up with her stuff in plastic bags. She was pretty cute and was ready to take the Jersey Shore by storm (just like the Raiders won Super Bowl XVIII.) Unfortunately, Angelina missed out on her chance to become a huge (if not, mocked) celebrity because she was too hungover to go work a T-shirt shop?!? Really? She moved out and is currently in relative obscurity- just like the Raiders!
J-WOWW = The Carolina Panthers - J-WOWW just seems like she's a panther. On the prowl, ready to pounce and not afraid to climb all over a guy like he's a tree while grinding in the club. Like the NFL Panthers, J-WOWW always seems to be confusing as how good she'll be. Sometimes, she looks pretty good. Other times, she looks like the queen of the busted. It's like when NFL experts are ready to jump back on the Panthers bandwagon, but then Jake Delhomme fires off 5 picks for a destructive loss. The Panthers and J-WOWW are both hard to figure out.
The Situation = The New Orleans Saints - The Saints have traditionally been a team that couldn't get it done. However, with a new coach, a daily workout regiment, a recent confident swagger, pressed uniforms and a tanning bed, the Saints look like they could get it done this year. The Situation is clearly overcompensating for his past rejections, but his new celebrity could lead him to the promised land of "cool chicks." The Situation has things under control.
Snooki = The New York J-E-T-S - A stout defense that is begging for more national media to recognize them. Am I talking about Snooki or the Jets? How about both? Snooki took a punch in the mouth and was back on the prowl the next day. That's a tough girl- just like Rex Ryan's Jet defense. The Jets have been talking about how they've been "disrespected" and should be "getting more attention." If that doesn't scream Snooki then I don't know what does. Also, they play their home games in New Jersey, so that works too.
Pauly D = The Washington Redskins - This is purely based on Pauly's bronzed skin and slicked back hair looking similar to the Redskins' logo. Let's take a look:
A reach you say? Well, then maybe DJ Pauly D will drop a beat instead to make you fist pump and not worry about it. My second choice was the old Tampa Bay Bucs mascot.
Ronnie = The Baltimore Ravens - The way Ronnie is going, he's going to end up on trial for murder just like Ray Lewis. Ronnie is emotional and hard hitting much like the Ravens Defense. Also, much like the Ravens, his offense (in this case I'm referring to him backing down to Sammi on every argument) is inept. I mean, did he really have to apologize and cry about telling Sammi that she had a "Fred Flinstone big toe?" That seemed a bit unnecessary- just like the Ravens putting up 3 points against the Colts.
Sammi = The Indianapolis Colts - Since I made Ronnie the Ravens, I'll make Sammi the Colts. A sleek and sexy pick to go all the way, and one that can easily defeat the Ravens. However, when you inspect the team thoroughly, you realize that they're really, really, really annoying and you can't stand them. Yeah, I'm talking about both Sammi and Peyton Manning right now. I'd rather stab myself in the ears before hearing either one of them give a press conference.
Vinny = The Houston Texans - Vinny is the youngest in the house and he barely appeared during the first few episodes. The Texans are the youngest NFL franchise, but have improved recently and are currently very competitive. When they would roll the intro to the show I would wonder, "Who is this guy and why is he never on the show?" Recently, however, Vinny has been hilarious and has been gaining momentum. The Situation did commit a robbery by taking his girl (much like the Texans were robbed by the Jets of their playoff birth) but that's the way it goes when you live with a powerhouse like The Situation.
So there you go. Feel free to make your own suggestions about which teams I should have picked for each person. Fist pump!
In order to properly combine two great things, I decided to think about the NFL equivalent of each character on the Jersey Shore. It seems like a funny idea, and truthfully, my other idea was talking about my transaction at the Wendy's Drive Thru yesterday, so we're going to go this way for now.
Angelina = The LA Raiders - Angelina seemed promising at the beginning when she showed up with her stuff in plastic bags. She was pretty cute and was ready to take the Jersey Shore by storm (just like the Raiders won Super Bowl XVIII.) Unfortunately, Angelina missed out on her chance to become a huge (if not, mocked) celebrity because she was too hungover to go work a T-shirt shop?!? Really? She moved out and is currently in relative obscurity- just like the Raiders!
J-WOWW = The Carolina Panthers - J-WOWW just seems like she's a panther. On the prowl, ready to pounce and not afraid to climb all over a guy like he's a tree while grinding in the club. Like the NFL Panthers, J-WOWW always seems to be confusing as how good she'll be. Sometimes, she looks pretty good. Other times, she looks like the queen of the busted. It's like when NFL experts are ready to jump back on the Panthers bandwagon, but then Jake Delhomme fires off 5 picks for a destructive loss. The Panthers and J-WOWW are both hard to figure out.
The Situation = The New Orleans Saints - The Saints have traditionally been a team that couldn't get it done. However, with a new coach, a daily workout regiment, a recent confident swagger, pressed uniforms and a tanning bed, the Saints look like they could get it done this year. The Situation is clearly overcompensating for his past rejections, but his new celebrity could lead him to the promised land of "cool chicks." The Situation has things under control.
Snooki = The New York J-E-T-S - A stout defense that is begging for more national media to recognize them. Am I talking about Snooki or the Jets? How about both? Snooki took a punch in the mouth and was back on the prowl the next day. That's a tough girl- just like Rex Ryan's Jet defense. The Jets have been talking about how they've been "disrespected" and should be "getting more attention." If that doesn't scream Snooki then I don't know what does. Also, they play their home games in New Jersey, so that works too.
Pauly D = The Washington Redskins - This is purely based on Pauly's bronzed skin and slicked back hair looking similar to the Redskins' logo. Let's take a look:
A reach you say? Well, then maybe DJ Pauly D will drop a beat instead to make you fist pump and not worry about it. My second choice was the old Tampa Bay Bucs mascot.
Ronnie = The Baltimore Ravens - The way Ronnie is going, he's going to end up on trial for murder just like Ray Lewis. Ronnie is emotional and hard hitting much like the Ravens Defense. Also, much like the Ravens, his offense (in this case I'm referring to him backing down to Sammi on every argument) is inept. I mean, did he really have to apologize and cry about telling Sammi that she had a "Fred Flinstone big toe?" That seemed a bit unnecessary- just like the Ravens putting up 3 points against the Colts.
Sammi = The Indianapolis Colts - Since I made Ronnie the Ravens, I'll make Sammi the Colts. A sleek and sexy pick to go all the way, and one that can easily defeat the Ravens. However, when you inspect the team thoroughly, you realize that they're really, really, really annoying and you can't stand them. Yeah, I'm talking about both Sammi and Peyton Manning right now. I'd rather stab myself in the ears before hearing either one of them give a press conference.
Vinny = The Houston Texans - Vinny is the youngest in the house and he barely appeared during the first few episodes. The Texans are the youngest NFL franchise, but have improved recently and are currently very competitive. When they would roll the intro to the show I would wonder, "Who is this guy and why is he never on the show?" Recently, however, Vinny has been hilarious and has been gaining momentum. The Situation did commit a robbery by taking his girl (much like the Texans were robbed by the Jets of their playoff birth) but that's the way it goes when you live with a powerhouse like The Situation.
So there you go. Feel free to make your own suggestions about which teams I should have picked for each person. Fist pump!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A Case of the Mondays: Tuesday Edition
I not only love Martin Luther King, Jr.'s message, I love the fact that I (and many other people who don't work for racist companies) got a three-day weekend this past weekend. Did I do great things with my extra time this weekend? Eh- no "I Have A Dream" speeches, but it was fun and fairly relaxing.
- I finally got around to watching "Land of the Lost" with Will Ferrell and Danny McBride. Danny McBride is literally the only funny aspect of the movie. It was an oddly paced movie with Will Ferrell playing a bumbling scientist that was more stupid and less funny. I suppose it is worth watching once, but overall, I was not impressed. Luckily, my copy of "The Hangover" came from an unnamed website that gives great discounts, but until they sponsor some ad space on this blog, they are not getting a mention! I'd obviously seen "The Hangover" before, but it was a nice antiseptic mouthwash for the halitosis that was "Land of the Lost."
- Another thing I finally got around to was cleaning the bathroom Saturday morning. I was joined by Mr. Clean, AJAX, and Windextor to create a spotless and organized bathroom. Worst part? Our fan in the bathroom is broken so the fumes helped turn the room into a gas chamber. I escaped before passing out- barely. It would have sucked if Mrs. B. came home to find me passed out in the bathtub with a bottle of Windex and me bloody and naked. Why naked? I have no idea, but that just seems funnier.
- After watching an entertaining start to the NFL playoff weekend (and I'm literally talking about the first quarter of the Saints/Cardinals game) it was downhill from there. I ended up skipping the second half of the Colts/Ravens game as we went to our friend's birthday party. It seems like that second half was totally boring and that my choice of drinking gin and playing Rock Band 2 was a much better decision. Spoonman! Come together with your hands! Save me! I'm together with your plan!
- I hate the Cowboys. But let's keep it real, I can easily express my level of hate for the Cowboys with this simple mathematical inequality:
[Editor's note: the original post was somehow corrupted, sorry for any typo confusion]
My levels of hate -->
Scabies < Nickelback < Cowboys < Vikings < Favre
Yes, I hate bugs that burrow under the skin less than Nickelback. Here is my list of like:
Levels of like-->
Gibson Guitars = Chicago Cubs = Chicago Bears < Getting Laid
I might be married, but sexual activity is still at the top of the list!
What the hell was my point? Oh, I hate the Cowboys, but I was definitely cheering for them over the Vikings and Favre. You can see clearly that I hate Favre and the Vikings more individually than I do the Cowboys. Put them together and it's not even a hard decision. Some people might think about cheering for a division rival of their favorite team in order to say, "Well, the NFC North (in this example) was tougher than the the NFC East this year." I'm here to say that those people are stupid. One must always cheer against their rival or risk getting their "True Sports Fan" card taken away like Liam Neeson's daughter in the movie "Taken" (yes, that means it would be sold into an underground sex slave ring and you would have to murder at least 50 dudes in order to get it back.) I was massively disappointed that Favre and the Vikings triumphed, but I'm hoping for them to take a beating by the Saints. Will Smith should not be afraid to go all "Wild, Wild West" or maybe "Bad Boys II" on Favre and give him a career ending hit. He's had enough time to make up his own mind about retirement, so feel free to not give him a choice after this week.
- The Chargers game was just a huge let down. I did not want to see the Jets advance any further. It's not a cute underdog story when the underdogs are cocky about winning games when the Chargers should have had at least 6 more points (and that should have been 9, Nate Kaeding, but I'm being nice about your inept kicking.) You know, I can give myself the itinerary to playing music at Madison Square Garden, but that doesn't mean it's automatically going to happen (Coach Rex Ryan gave the Jets players the schedule that goes all the way up to Super Bowl Sunday.) I can't believe I'm going to have to cheer for the Colts next week. Ugh. Best case scenario: Saints/Colts in the Super Bowl. Worst case scenario: Brett Favre vs. His Old Team. Ouch.
- 24 is back! So far, it seems promising. It was funny to see Jack Bauer try to get out of being involved, but of course, they have a show to put on so he was eventually roped in. If stopping terrorist plots were sexual exploits, then consider Jack Bauer Tiger Woods. He's addicted to torturing lowlifes for information and pushing the buttons of the incompetent people in charge of government agencies.
- Top three songs that found their way into my iPod over the weekend: Sponge "Plowed," Faith No More "Epic," and the Presidents of the United States of America "Lump."
- I finally got around to watching "Land of the Lost" with Will Ferrell and Danny McBride. Danny McBride is literally the only funny aspect of the movie. It was an oddly paced movie with Will Ferrell playing a bumbling scientist that was more stupid and less funny. I suppose it is worth watching once, but overall, I was not impressed. Luckily, my copy of "The Hangover" came from an unnamed website that gives great discounts, but until they sponsor some ad space on this blog, they are not getting a mention! I'd obviously seen "The Hangover" before, but it was a nice antiseptic mouthwash for the halitosis that was "Land of the Lost."
- Another thing I finally got around to was cleaning the bathroom Saturday morning. I was joined by Mr. Clean, AJAX, and Windextor to create a spotless and organized bathroom. Worst part? Our fan in the bathroom is broken so the fumes helped turn the room into a gas chamber. I escaped before passing out- barely. It would have sucked if Mrs. B. came home to find me passed out in the bathtub with a bottle of Windex and me bloody and naked. Why naked? I have no idea, but that just seems funnier.
- After watching an entertaining start to the NFL playoff weekend (and I'm literally talking about the first quarter of the Saints/Cardinals game) it was downhill from there. I ended up skipping the second half of the Colts/Ravens game as we went to our friend's birthday party. It seems like that second half was totally boring and that my choice of drinking gin and playing Rock Band 2 was a much better decision. Spoonman! Come together with your hands! Save me! I'm together with your plan!
- I hate the Cowboys. But let's keep it real, I can easily express my level of hate for the Cowboys with this simple mathematical inequality:
[Editor's note: the original post was somehow corrupted, sorry for any typo confusion]
My levels of hate -->
Scabies < Nickelback < Cowboys < Vikings < Favre
Yes, I hate bugs that burrow under the skin less than Nickelback. Here is my list of like:
Levels of like-->
Gibson Guitars = Chicago Cubs = Chicago Bears < Getting Laid
I might be married, but sexual activity is still at the top of the list!
What the hell was my point? Oh, I hate the Cowboys, but I was definitely cheering for them over the Vikings and Favre. You can see clearly that I hate Favre and the Vikings more individually than I do the Cowboys. Put them together and it's not even a hard decision. Some people might think about cheering for a division rival of their favorite team in order to say, "Well, the NFC North (in this example) was tougher than the the NFC East this year." I'm here to say that those people are stupid. One must always cheer against their rival or risk getting their "True Sports Fan" card taken away like Liam Neeson's daughter in the movie "Taken" (yes, that means it would be sold into an underground sex slave ring and you would have to murder at least 50 dudes in order to get it back.) I was massively disappointed that Favre and the Vikings triumphed, but I'm hoping for them to take a beating by the Saints. Will Smith should not be afraid to go all "Wild, Wild West" or maybe "Bad Boys II" on Favre and give him a career ending hit. He's had enough time to make up his own mind about retirement, so feel free to not give him a choice after this week.
- The Chargers game was just a huge let down. I did not want to see the Jets advance any further. It's not a cute underdog story when the underdogs are cocky about winning games when the Chargers should have had at least 6 more points (and that should have been 9, Nate Kaeding, but I'm being nice about your inept kicking.) You know, I can give myself the itinerary to playing music at Madison Square Garden, but that doesn't mean it's automatically going to happen (Coach Rex Ryan gave the Jets players the schedule that goes all the way up to Super Bowl Sunday.) I can't believe I'm going to have to cheer for the Colts next week. Ugh. Best case scenario: Saints/Colts in the Super Bowl. Worst case scenario: Brett Favre vs. His Old Team. Ouch.
- 24 is back! So far, it seems promising. It was funny to see Jack Bauer try to get out of being involved, but of course, they have a show to put on so he was eventually roped in. If stopping terrorist plots were sexual exploits, then consider Jack Bauer Tiger Woods. He's addicted to torturing lowlifes for information and pushing the buttons of the incompetent people in charge of government agencies.
- Top three songs that found their way into my iPod over the weekend: Sponge "Plowed," Faith No More "Epic," and the Presidents of the United States of America "Lump."
Monday, January 18, 2010
MLK Jr. Day
Hey, folks- I have the day off today, so instead of writing about how bad my Sunday NFL predictions were, I'm going to leave you with the recent MacGruber sketch. It sucks if you have a racist employer that doesn't recognize today as a holiday, but then again, you probably get paid more than me (I'm talking about private vs. public institutions, yo!) Catch you here tomorrow:
Friday, January 15, 2010
Fox & Goose 1/14
My show last night went very well! It's interesting, as I play more shows, I've found that I've become much more dependent on cover songs. It's like a drug addiction where the musician becomes addicted to easily grabbing people's attention with songs they know, rather than pushing to get people interested in their own original songs. At least, this is the trap I've found myself in recently.
When I accepted the gig at the Fox & Goose in Sacramento I thought, "Great! An opportunity to play some original tunes!" I told myself that I'll play a lot of songs from my first album and from my upcoming second album and see what happens. It was odd, but I actually had to practice up on some of my original songs, which had never been the case before (I was always playing originals rather than covers- now I play tons of cover gigs. You gotta get paid and laid if you know what I'm sayin'!) This was not helped by my sore throat on Tuesday, which limited my practice time this week.
I wrote up a 16 song setlist comprised of only original songs. I dedicated myself to not stray from the list no matter what. As I started playing, I was a little self-conscious of the fact that I was playing so many original songs in a row, however, the people that were there seemed to like them, and I kept chugging along through the list.
A couple times, I would look at the next song on the list and think, "Um, I can probably skip this one." It was like being at the gym and thinking, "I can probably do sit-ups tomorrow" knowing full well there is no chance you will do sit-ups, crunches, leg lifts or any other kind of ab workout tomorrow. I powered through all of it, stuck to my original setlist and played all 16 songs in the order that I wrote out earlier in the day. In the end, it felt great to accomplish that. In fact, I should definitely make more of an effort to book at least a gig a month where original songs are accepted and encouraged. Obviously, gigs like that don't pay the bills as well, but I think it would help in the long run. Also, once the new record is in hand, I'm hoping to play a lot more gigs with a band where we play my own original tunes, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I'm quite pleased with how the show went, and thank you to everyone who came out. The support is much appreciated! Onward to the weekend and playoff football!
When I accepted the gig at the Fox & Goose in Sacramento I thought, "Great! An opportunity to play some original tunes!" I told myself that I'll play a lot of songs from my first album and from my upcoming second album and see what happens. It was odd, but I actually had to practice up on some of my original songs, which had never been the case before (I was always playing originals rather than covers- now I play tons of cover gigs. You gotta get paid and laid if you know what I'm sayin'!) This was not helped by my sore throat on Tuesday, which limited my practice time this week.
I wrote up a 16 song setlist comprised of only original songs. I dedicated myself to not stray from the list no matter what. As I started playing, I was a little self-conscious of the fact that I was playing so many original songs in a row, however, the people that were there seemed to like them, and I kept chugging along through the list.
A couple times, I would look at the next song on the list and think, "Um, I can probably skip this one." It was like being at the gym and thinking, "I can probably do sit-ups tomorrow" knowing full well there is no chance you will do sit-ups, crunches, leg lifts or any other kind of ab workout tomorrow. I powered through all of it, stuck to my original setlist and played all 16 songs in the order that I wrote out earlier in the day. In the end, it felt great to accomplish that. In fact, I should definitely make more of an effort to book at least a gig a month where original songs are accepted and encouraged. Obviously, gigs like that don't pay the bills as well, but I think it would help in the long run. Also, once the new record is in hand, I'm hoping to play a lot more gigs with a band where we play my own original tunes, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I'm quite pleased with how the show went, and thank you to everyone who came out. The support is much appreciated! Onward to the weekend and playoff football!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Let's Try This Again
My playoff predictions were terrible last weekend. I gave into my hate for the Cowboys, my manlove for Tom Brady, and my assumption that the Packers would keep winning just to spite me. I doubt my predictions are any more lucid this weekend, but I will say 1-3 is probably good enough to make me an "expert" analyst on any given network.
I'll take a mulligan for last week and here are my picks this week:
Arizona @ New Orleans - This one is a tough pick. One would think it will be a track meet between these two teams probably resulting in a similar game to the Green Bay/Arizona game. I have no idea what to think of New Orleans since they were man-handled by the Cowboys, then got beat by the Bucs before tanking a game to the Panthers. However, I'm going to assume that Drew Brees can rally the troops and get it done. This is a scary prediction because we all know that Kurt Warner is God's favorite player. New Orleans 42, Arizona 31
Baltimore @ Indy - This ain't the fading New England Patriots that the Ravens are playing. I have to believe the Colts will throw up a solid win. That's not to say the Colts' offense won't be stunted to some degree by the Ravens staunch defense, but in the end I'm going with both #1 seeds to advance to their respective conference championship games. Indy 21, Baltimore 17
Dallas @ Minnesota - This one is so tough to pick. I hate both the teams. I hate both the quarterbacks. I hate both the coaches. Dallas seems to be on a hot streak and yet, at times, the Vikings have looked like the most balanced (read as: best) team in the NFL. In the end, I'm going to factor in two things: 1) the Vikings are in the Bears division and I hate them and 2) the Cowboys have a quarterback with an awesome first name. That settles it, I'm going with the Cowboys. Dallas 24, Minnesota 21
NY Jets @ San Diego - Playoff games in the "Whale's Vagina" are always fun. Remember the game that the Chargers should have beaten the Patriots if not for some very stupid decisions on the Chargers part? That was great TV! In regards to this match-up, everyone keeps talking about the Jets' defense as if it was the second coming of the total hysterectomy to birth control (ok, so that might have been an over the top comparison, but you get the point.) It's my feeling that the Jets don't have enough consistency as a team to advance any further. They were lucky to have played a Bengals team that was spent emotionally and truthfully, played a horrible schedule to get where they got (for example, had the Steelers beaten the Raiders, Chiefs, Bears, and Browns the Bengals would have been a wild card and lost anyway- the Bengals capitalized by beating those weak teams.) Anyway, I think Phillip Rivers has a solid (not huge) game and the Chargers "Electric Glide" all over the Jets. Chargers 27, Jets 17
We'll see how these predictions work out this week. I'm just hoping for a better weekend of football this weekend than last weekend. By the time the Cardinals were up on the Packers 17-0, I was ready to throw in the towel on watching horrible football games. Luckily that game turned around and ended up being exciting. Seriously though, let's have some competitive games and big hits (preferably in the Vikings/Cowboys game.)
I'll take a mulligan for last week and here are my picks this week:
Arizona @ New Orleans - This one is a tough pick. One would think it will be a track meet between these two teams probably resulting in a similar game to the Green Bay/Arizona game. I have no idea what to think of New Orleans since they were man-handled by the Cowboys, then got beat by the Bucs before tanking a game to the Panthers. However, I'm going to assume that Drew Brees can rally the troops and get it done. This is a scary prediction because we all know that Kurt Warner is God's favorite player. New Orleans 42, Arizona 31
Baltimore @ Indy - This ain't the fading New England Patriots that the Ravens are playing. I have to believe the Colts will throw up a solid win. That's not to say the Colts' offense won't be stunted to some degree by the Ravens staunch defense, but in the end I'm going with both #1 seeds to advance to their respective conference championship games. Indy 21, Baltimore 17
Dallas @ Minnesota - This one is so tough to pick. I hate both the teams. I hate both the quarterbacks. I hate both the coaches. Dallas seems to be on a hot streak and yet, at times, the Vikings have looked like the most balanced (read as: best) team in the NFL. In the end, I'm going to factor in two things: 1) the Vikings are in the Bears division and I hate them and 2) the Cowboys have a quarterback with an awesome first name. That settles it, I'm going with the Cowboys. Dallas 24, Minnesota 21
NY Jets @ San Diego - Playoff games in the "Whale's Vagina" are always fun. Remember the game that the Chargers should have beaten the Patriots if not for some very stupid decisions on the Chargers part? That was great TV! In regards to this match-up, everyone keeps talking about the Jets' defense as if it was the second coming of the total hysterectomy to birth control (ok, so that might have been an over the top comparison, but you get the point.) It's my feeling that the Jets don't have enough consistency as a team to advance any further. They were lucky to have played a Bengals team that was spent emotionally and truthfully, played a horrible schedule to get where they got (for example, had the Steelers beaten the Raiders, Chiefs, Bears, and Browns the Bengals would have been a wild card and lost anyway- the Bengals capitalized by beating those weak teams.) Anyway, I think Phillip Rivers has a solid (not huge) game and the Chargers "Electric Glide" all over the Jets. Chargers 27, Jets 17
We'll see how these predictions work out this week. I'm just hoping for a better weekend of football this weekend than last weekend. By the time the Cardinals were up on the Packers 17-0, I was ready to throw in the towel on watching horrible football games. Luckily that game turned around and ended up being exciting. Seriously though, let's have some competitive games and big hits (preferably in the Vikings/Cowboys game.)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
What Ever Happened To... Mark Prior?
Back in the summer of 2003, I have to admit that the highlight for me was going to Wrigley Field and watching Mark Prior throw a 2-1 complete game against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Watching him throw an absolutely masterful game was about as good as it could get for a Cubs fan- nay- even a baseball fan.
However, after a number of things going wrong (colliding with Marcus Giles on the basepaths, being overworked by Dusty Baker, hurting his ankle and then compensating with too much shoulder action, and even being loosely linked to steroids) Mark Prior hasn't pitched in the majors for many years now. Where has he gone? We know he was trying to rehab and pitch for his hometown San Diego Padres as of a year ago, but even they released him and let him walk away.
So where is the once phenom now? Here are my top predictions for where my former favorite MLB player is right now:
- On His Couch - I mean, he's a multi-millionare. The Cubs paid him $10 million as a signing bonus when he was drafted. If he wasn't able to keep that money around, he still stole $3-$4 million in 2005 and 2006 from the Cubs and he got an extra $1 million from the Padres in 2007 when he was rehabbing. I have to believe he has a home theatre with a nice couch where he can just relax and do nothing.
- At Church - I once saw Prior and his wife at St. Vincent's Catholic Church in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago. Since nothing else has worked to heal his pitching arm, I have to believe he's putting his faith in the heavens above. Last ditch effort plan- sell soul to the devil for a new arm.
- Doing The Electric Glide With LT - Prior resides in San Diego, so why wouldn't he join local legend LT in some good ol' fashioned dance moves. If you haven't seen it, here it is in all its glory:
- He Crashed On "The Island"- On a flight back from Australia to LAX, Prior's plane crashed on a mystical island with Polar Bears, Smoke Monsters, and plenty of sexual tension. Hopefully for his sake there is time travel as well because that might be the only chance of him regaining his career.
And the winner is...
- Mark Prior is in a Pumpkin Patch!
Hopefully he gets done picking out pumpkins to carve, so he can get his baseball career back on track. Honestly, I don't have much hope of that happening, but I do miss watching him pitch.
However, after a number of things going wrong (colliding with Marcus Giles on the basepaths, being overworked by Dusty Baker, hurting his ankle and then compensating with too much shoulder action, and even being loosely linked to steroids) Mark Prior hasn't pitched in the majors for many years now. Where has he gone? We know he was trying to rehab and pitch for his hometown San Diego Padres as of a year ago, but even they released him and let him walk away.
So where is the once phenom now? Here are my top predictions for where my former favorite MLB player is right now:
- On His Couch - I mean, he's a multi-millionare. The Cubs paid him $10 million as a signing bonus when he was drafted. If he wasn't able to keep that money around, he still stole $3-$4 million in 2005 and 2006 from the Cubs and he got an extra $1 million from the Padres in 2007 when he was rehabbing. I have to believe he has a home theatre with a nice couch where he can just relax and do nothing.
- At Church - I once saw Prior and his wife at St. Vincent's Catholic Church in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago. Since nothing else has worked to heal his pitching arm, I have to believe he's putting his faith in the heavens above. Last ditch effort plan- sell soul to the devil for a new arm.
- Doing The Electric Glide With LT - Prior resides in San Diego, so why wouldn't he join local legend LT in some good ol' fashioned dance moves. If you haven't seen it, here it is in all its glory:
- He Crashed On "The Island"- On a flight back from Australia to LAX, Prior's plane crashed on a mystical island with Polar Bears, Smoke Monsters, and plenty of sexual tension. Hopefully for his sake there is time travel as well because that might be the only chance of him regaining his career.
And the winner is...
- Mark Prior is in a Pumpkin Patch!
Hopefully he gets done picking out pumpkins to carve, so he can get his baseball career back on track. Honestly, I don't have much hope of that happening, but I do miss watching him pitch.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Nine Inch Nails 2005
I don't talk about work all that often in this blog, and for good reason. Most of what I talk about only pertains to either my music career, my sports fan-ness, my personal opinions, or stuff that I joke about. This story combines my work with music so we'll dive in a little bit in the 8-5 grind.
This particular day, was not an 8-5 schedule- it was more like 8am-11pm. You see, I work as a the manager of a ticket office and on this day, we were doing the ticketing for an already sold out Nine Inch Nails show. Now, there is not as much to do when a show sells out, though there was still will call and guest list passes to take care of. In fact, sold out shows are great, but they do bring the tension level up a few notches for the people attending (most of the time this is due to people building the night up in their head as the perfect night only to have their high expectations ruined when they can't get the perfect spot on the floor or something else of small significance that gets blown out of proportion in their mind.)
Now, this particular show was essentially one of three warm-up shows that Nine Inch Nails was doing on the West Coast before they went on a national tour (and this was after being on hiatus for six years or so.) I was very excited as I had never seen them live and they were one of my favorite bands growing up (I was a good kid but I had to rebel somehow, right?)
Usually bands soundcheck around 4 or 5 when they are playing an 8pm show, so I was determined to check it out. From my office I heard the first chords go off and ran into the hall. Now, the venue I'm talking about has a wall of bleachers blocking anyone from seeing the stage when they first walk in to the main hall. You have to go around the bleachers in order to get a good look at the stage. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous because there were not many people in the hall (read as: it was basically empty) so I didn't want to show myself as an obvious lookie-loo and make the band angry. I walked just to the left of the bleachers and watched Nine Inch Nails soundcheck to an empty hall.
I saw four songs. "The Wretched" (which included "The Frail" intro), "The Fragile," "The Day The World Went Away," and last was "The Big Comedown." Now, "The Big Comedown" is one awesomely rocking song. Trent Reznor turned to the rest of the band right before they played the song and said, "Let's rock the f*** out of this!" And they did. I couldn't believe I was lucky enough to see it. They were definitely giving full effort and you could see they were hungry as a band.
Soon after finishing this song, a concessions lady who was carting supplies from behind stage to the back of the hall told me (and my friend and then assistant manager, Sean) that the band was getting pissed off that we back there watching. We immediately left. There was no reason to piss them off any further- especially after seeing four songs that might as well have been a private concert for us.
I must say, it was still one of the coolest things I've seen live. I suppose working at concerts and playing music often tends to dull my excitement when it comes to watching concerts. This moment, however, did not disappoint.
Monday, January 11, 2010
A Case of the Mondays
Well, that was a weird weekend. I had a show and worked out both days, but I still felt wildly unproductive. No idea how that works, but let's get on with the Monday blog entry anyway:
- So the last playoff game of the weekend was very good. But let's be honest, the overall weekend of NFL games was pretty terrible. Seriously. My predictions were horrible (though, I'm delighted that the Packers ended up losing in such crushing fashion- I can almost taste the tears of the Green Bay faithful.) Let's just hope next week's slate of games lives up to the hype.
- On Saturday night I witnessed a car accident. Mrs. B. and I were going to get yogurt at Mochii in downtown Sacramento. The block was pretty busy, but we saw someone pulling out of their spot so I threw on my blinker and waited patiently. Unfortunately, the car behind me decided to be the opposite of patient. They came up on me quite quickly, and I'm not sure they understood that putting my blinker on is the universal sign for "I'm waiting to take this parking spot." So they zoomed around me on my right (it was a one way street and I was on the left side of the street.) This would have been ok if they didn't decided to cut me back off. Obviously, he crashed into the car that was pulling out of the space. Mrs. B. and I were stunned for a second, then we took the spot and got out to talk to the people who had pulled out of the spot. I gave them my name and number in case they needed a witness for insurance purposes. Yogurt outing ruined.
- I am right now listening to a rough mix of my new album. It sounds pretty damn good. I am a little self conscious with a couple parts of the album, but overall I'm very excited to get it out officially. I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more about the record in the coming weeks because the updates will be happening here.
- I enjoyed this skit from the Charles Barkley SNL:
- So the last playoff game of the weekend was very good. But let's be honest, the overall weekend of NFL games was pretty terrible. Seriously. My predictions were horrible (though, I'm delighted that the Packers ended up losing in such crushing fashion- I can almost taste the tears of the Green Bay faithful.) Let's just hope next week's slate of games lives up to the hype.
- On Saturday night I witnessed a car accident. Mrs. B. and I were going to get yogurt at Mochii in downtown Sacramento. The block was pretty busy, but we saw someone pulling out of their spot so I threw on my blinker and waited patiently. Unfortunately, the car behind me decided to be the opposite of patient. They came up on me quite quickly, and I'm not sure they understood that putting my blinker on is the universal sign for "I'm waiting to take this parking spot." So they zoomed around me on my right (it was a one way street and I was on the left side of the street.) This would have been ok if they didn't decided to cut me back off. Obviously, he crashed into the car that was pulling out of the space. Mrs. B. and I were stunned for a second, then we took the spot and got out to talk to the people who had pulled out of the spot. I gave them my name and number in case they needed a witness for insurance purposes. Yogurt outing ruined.
- I am right now listening to a rough mix of my new album. It sounds pretty damn good. I am a little self conscious with a couple parts of the album, but overall I'm very excited to get it out officially. I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more about the record in the coming weeks because the updates will be happening here.
- I enjoyed this skit from the Charles Barkley SNL:
Friday, January 8, 2010
Live Band Karaoke
I was up until the early morning hours last night because our Live Band Karaoke band played at the G St Pub in Davis. It was by far our best show as a band. The place was packed, people were singing, drinking, and dancing a ton. I've never seen the dance floor so crowded at the Pub.
On top of that, we have been practicing more, but hadn't totally seen results until last night. Last month, we worked on a bunch of songs, and no one requested them, so we stumbled through some of the less practiced train wrecks and didn't feel great about it. Last night was a different story. We smoked some of our new songs ("Light My Fire," "Billie Jean," and even busted out a "Hey Ya" which we really hadn't practiced.) It felt really good to play in a band that knew what it was doing. We were much more confident (and coherent.) Oh, and G$, we played Danzig "Mother" last night and I literally thought during it- "I bet G$ would sing better than this dude." Who knows if I'm right, but the challenge is out there if you make it back West.
So, to be honest, 4 hours of sleep is not good enough for me to write a decent blog, so this is going to have to be a mail in post, but remember- I'm playing Saturday night (tomorrow):
1/9 Boxing Donkey, Roseville, CA - 300 Lincoln
1/14 Fox & Goose, Sacramento, CA - 1001 R St
Have a great weekend!
On top of that, we have been practicing more, but hadn't totally seen results until last night. Last month, we worked on a bunch of songs, and no one requested them, so we stumbled through some of the less practiced train wrecks and didn't feel great about it. Last night was a different story. We smoked some of our new songs ("Light My Fire," "Billie Jean," and even busted out a "Hey Ya" which we really hadn't practiced.) It felt really good to play in a band that knew what it was doing. We were much more confident (and coherent.) Oh, and G$, we played Danzig "Mother" last night and I literally thought during it- "I bet G$ would sing better than this dude." Who knows if I'm right, but the challenge is out there if you make it back West.
So, to be honest, 4 hours of sleep is not good enough for me to write a decent blog, so this is going to have to be a mail in post, but remember- I'm playing Saturday night (tomorrow):
1/9 Boxing Donkey, Roseville, CA - 300 Lincoln
1/14 Fox & Goose, Sacramento, CA - 1001 R St
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Quick Picks
I don't have much inspiration for today, so let's look at some amusing things that don't need full posts:
- Gilbert Arenas is suspended indefinitely from NBA action: Good. I'm fairly certain most people would lose their job if they brought a gun to work, let alone brandishing it (joking or not) to get a gambling debt from a co-worker. Arenas might need to find a line of work- I imagine his skill-set and references would lead him to be a bookie or a nihilist (not a real nihilist- more like the ones from "Big Lebowski.") All I know is that Washington needs to have a retro-night soon- wear those Washington Bullets jerseys with pride.
- Ochocinco's Rehab: Apparently he said that he tested his injured knee not with conventional tests, but by having sex to see if it would hold up. After the NY Post ran the story, he now says he was joking. I've got to believe the truth is somewhere in the middle, not that it really matters in the grand scheme of things. I do wonder if Chad's thirst for attention gets in the way of his drive to win football games, but I guess will find out this weekend.
- Roberto Alomar was not inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame: For as great a career as he had, Alomar's spitting incident seemed to keep him from being a first-ballot HOFer. He'll have to wait until next where he will most certainly get in. It's weird how voters seem to relish in making people wait for years until they finally vote them in. I guess numbers can look differently depending on the landscape of the game at the time (currently steroids are affecting numbers and legacys) but either they are or aren't a Hall of Famer. A quick look at a stat sheet and an eye test should be easy enough to figure out if someone belongs in or not. But I suppose my opinion means nothing because I'm not a voter.
- Lost is almost back: Less than a month now... I'm ready to put Lost back in my crack-TV pipe and smoke it! I don't know if that was the approriate metaphor, but who cares? It's about time for this thing to get rolling. The one thing I'm not looking forward to- Lost ending. After it's gone I'm going to have to find a new show to obsess over. Or I guess I could just be a more productive human... Nah- that would never work.
- I finally watched the new Star Trek movie: It was good. The problem is the quality of the Star Trek movie was definitely better than the Star Wars prequel triology, and yet, I'd still probably rather watch Episodes I-III. How can this be? Well, let's keep it real, Star Trek is not now, nor could it ever be, as cool as Star Wars. "Beaming people up" is cool and all, but lightsabers will always be better. Time travel is ok, but compare that to using the force or becoming a blue glowy ghost and we know who the winner is. If you like Sci-Fi stuff, definitely check out the new Star Trek, but realize that the brand is just inferior to Star Wars- and it will always be that way.
- Live Band Karaoke Tonight! G St Pub in Davis at 10pm. Come sing your favorite song that we can play!
- Also, I'm playing Saturday at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville. If you missed out on New Year's Eve, it's now your chance to make up for that. 9:30pm-12:30-ish.
- Gilbert Arenas is suspended indefinitely from NBA action: Good. I'm fairly certain most people would lose their job if they brought a gun to work, let alone brandishing it (joking or not) to get a gambling debt from a co-worker. Arenas might need to find a line of work- I imagine his skill-set and references would lead him to be a bookie or a nihilist (not a real nihilist- more like the ones from "Big Lebowski.") All I know is that Washington needs to have a retro-night soon- wear those Washington Bullets jerseys with pride.
- Ochocinco's Rehab: Apparently he said that he tested his injured knee not with conventional tests, but by having sex to see if it would hold up. After the NY Post ran the story, he now says he was joking. I've got to believe the truth is somewhere in the middle, not that it really matters in the grand scheme of things. I do wonder if Chad's thirst for attention gets in the way of his drive to win football games, but I guess will find out this weekend.
- Roberto Alomar was not inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame: For as great a career as he had, Alomar's spitting incident seemed to keep him from being a first-ballot HOFer. He'll have to wait until next where he will most certainly get in. It's weird how voters seem to relish in making people wait for years until they finally vote them in. I guess numbers can look differently depending on the landscape of the game at the time (currently steroids are affecting numbers and legacys) but either they are or aren't a Hall of Famer. A quick look at a stat sheet and an eye test should be easy enough to figure out if someone belongs in or not. But I suppose my opinion means nothing because I'm not a voter.
- Lost is almost back: Less than a month now... I'm ready to put Lost back in my crack-TV pipe and smoke it! I don't know if that was the approriate metaphor, but who cares? It's about time for this thing to get rolling. The one thing I'm not looking forward to- Lost ending. After it's gone I'm going to have to find a new show to obsess over. Or I guess I could just be a more productive human... Nah- that would never work.
- I finally watched the new Star Trek movie: It was good. The problem is the quality of the Star Trek movie was definitely better than the Star Wars prequel triology, and yet, I'd still probably rather watch Episodes I-III. How can this be? Well, let's keep it real, Star Trek is not now, nor could it ever be, as cool as Star Wars. "Beaming people up" is cool and all, but lightsabers will always be better. Time travel is ok, but compare that to using the force or becoming a blue glowy ghost and we know who the winner is. If you like Sci-Fi stuff, definitely check out the new Star Trek, but realize that the brand is just inferior to Star Wars- and it will always be that way.
- Live Band Karaoke Tonight! G St Pub in Davis at 10pm. Come sing your favorite song that we can play!
- Also, I'm playing Saturday at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville. If you missed out on New Year's Eve, it's now your chance to make up for that. 9:30pm-12:30-ish.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
THE HAWK IS IN!
Cubs' legend Andre Dawson was just inducted into the Hall of Fame. That is awesome. "The Hawk" had one of the most demolishing swings of all time. He played the game hard and overcame serious knee problems to become a Hall of Famer.
Congrats Hawk- you're the man!
(Now we'll have to figure out if Mark Grace can get in as well...)
I Watched Wrestling On Monday?
Back when I was younger, and again when I was in high school and college, I enjoyed me some Wrestling. I'm not talking about the version practiced by Will Ferrell's character from "The Ladies Man" who was a "Greco-Roman Master"- I'm talking about "real" Wrestling. You know, the one that involves intrigue, prestige, and the most exciting athletes in sports entertainment. I mostly watched WWF (now the WWE) but that's not to say I didn't catch my fair share of WCW (now defunct.)
Well, on Monday there were two Wrestling shows worth watching. Monday Night Raw featured the return of Bret "The Hitman" Hart to the WWE ring. This was truly amazing because, as G$ mentioned in his post today, Bret was screwed over by Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon in 1997 in an event that is now referred to as the "Montreal Screwjob." (side note: G$ also put this link up, and it is hilarious that the Montreal Screwjob has its own Wikipedia page.) Seeing Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart bury the hatchet was quite cathartic. The audience thought they'd get the same thing from Mr. McMahon and Bret, but in true Vince fashion, he raised Bret Hart's hand in victory to all four sides of the ring, then kicked Bret in the balls. Classic! Bret Hart's contract is for four months so they obviously are going to start some sort of rivalry between him and Vince on the show.
On WWE's rival show, TNA, they had the arrival of another legend- Hulk Hogan. Hogan showed up with Eric Bishoff to shake things up. It was fun to watch Hogan, Bishoff, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, X-Pac (whatever his real name is?), and others wreak havoc during the TNA Monday night show. They obviously were trying to take on WWE's Bret Hart appearance and they did a good job competing. They brought out Jeff Jarrett to get lectured by Hulk. They brought out Ric Flair who was lurking about. Mick Foley was causing a scene. The Nasty Boys made an appearance. It was quite a nostalgic show. In fact, my one complaint, if I was a loyal viewer of TNA, would be "where are all the guys that brought this brand to this point?" The normal mainstays that TNA developed seemed to be a sideshow compared to bringing back legends of the ring to make appearances.
The best match I watched out of all of them was the main event on TNA. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles was awesome. Those two guys kicked each others' asses all over the ring and then some. It was crazy. In the end, AJ Styles beat Angle fair and square and retained his title. It was quite a match.
While I doubt I'm going to keep watching, or go back to my former tradition of getting a Carl's Jr. Bacon Swiss every Thursday to watch Smackdown (I guess I couldn't do that anyway because Smackdown is now on Fridays), I did enjoy watching wrestling on Monday night to see a legend welcomed back to WWE, and another legend put his stamp on TNA. Good stuff, brother.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
NFL Playoff Predictions: Wild Card Weekend
The NFL is a strange game. As soon as you think you've figured it out, weird upsets will happen or teams will tank games to rest players and everything gets thrown out the window. This week, 3 of the 4 games are re-matches from last week. Yet, I'm not sure how much those games mattered in the grand scheme of the playoff picture. Here's how I see it breaking down:
Saturday-
NY Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals - In an odd scheduling move, the NFL is making the first playoff game a rematch of the last regular season game. In addition, I don't understand why you wouldn't play both AFC games on one day (Saturday, for example) and both NFC games on the other (Sunday, in this scenario.) Then neither team would have an extra day of rest for their game the following week. Anyway, I'm not exactly sure how to go with this game. The Jets defense is obviously very good, and they demolished the Bengals on Sunday night. However, the Bengals definitely gave up on that game very early on (maybe as early as Chad Ochocinco hurting himself in warm-ups) and I can't imagine that will happen again. Also, Cedric Benson didn't play which drastically changes the Bengals' offense (yes, that sentence hurt to type as a Bears fan.) After doing diligent research (pause... NOT) I'm going with the Jets in a closer game- Jets 23, Bengals 20.
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys - Another match-up from last week, though this is the one that I look at to go differently. True, the Cowboys have been playing much better. Their defense has dominated and Tony Romo is beginning to look like a very good quarterback. However, I can easily see the Cowboys not staying focused after throttling the Eagles last week. The Eagles know how to get it done in January. We've seen it over and over and over. I have a feeling Andy Reid will do a better job teaching his team how to deal with last week's loss than he taught his kids to say no to drugs. Eagles win- Eagles 27, Cowboys 21.
Sunday-
Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patroits - How will the loss of Wes Welker affect the Patroits? Probably a little, but I'm not willing to throw the towel in on the Patroits just yet. I am skeptical of the way the Patroits have played all year, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt here. Plus, I'm not sure the Ravens have enough of a passing game to attack the Patroits' weakness in the secondary. Patroits 17, Ravens 16.
Green Bay Packers @ Arizona Cardinals - Being a Bears fan, I hate the Packers. Even in a poor season, I love when the Bears beat the Packers (didn't happen this year...) However, as a football fan, I can recongize when a team is on a roll, and the Packers might be the most dangerous team playing in the Wild Card weekend. Their 33-7 thrashing of the Cardinals was a preview into this week's game. It might not be quite so pronounced, but Aaron Rodgers has been impressive and the Packers' defense has been even better. Packers 31, Cardinals 17.
Now that it's down to the Playoffs, I won't be shocked by anything. I mean, the Cardinals went to the Super Bowl last year! If that doesn't scream "Anything can happen" I don't know what would. I know it will be entertaining and I can't wait for it!
Saturday-
NY Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals - In an odd scheduling move, the NFL is making the first playoff game a rematch of the last regular season game. In addition, I don't understand why you wouldn't play both AFC games on one day (Saturday, for example) and both NFC games on the other (Sunday, in this scenario.) Then neither team would have an extra day of rest for their game the following week. Anyway, I'm not exactly sure how to go with this game. The Jets defense is obviously very good, and they demolished the Bengals on Sunday night. However, the Bengals definitely gave up on that game very early on (maybe as early as Chad Ochocinco hurting himself in warm-ups) and I can't imagine that will happen again. Also, Cedric Benson didn't play which drastically changes the Bengals' offense (yes, that sentence hurt to type as a Bears fan.) After doing diligent research (pause... NOT) I'm going with the Jets in a closer game- Jets 23, Bengals 20.
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys - Another match-up from last week, though this is the one that I look at to go differently. True, the Cowboys have been playing much better. Their defense has dominated and Tony Romo is beginning to look like a very good quarterback. However, I can easily see the Cowboys not staying focused after throttling the Eagles last week. The Eagles know how to get it done in January. We've seen it over and over and over. I have a feeling Andy Reid will do a better job teaching his team how to deal with last week's loss than he taught his kids to say no to drugs. Eagles win- Eagles 27, Cowboys 21.
Sunday-
Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patroits - How will the loss of Wes Welker affect the Patroits? Probably a little, but I'm not willing to throw the towel in on the Patroits just yet. I am skeptical of the way the Patroits have played all year, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt here. Plus, I'm not sure the Ravens have enough of a passing game to attack the Patroits' weakness in the secondary. Patroits 17, Ravens 16.
Green Bay Packers @ Arizona Cardinals - Being a Bears fan, I hate the Packers. Even in a poor season, I love when the Bears beat the Packers (didn't happen this year...) However, as a football fan, I can recongize when a team is on a roll, and the Packers might be the most dangerous team playing in the Wild Card weekend. Their 33-7 thrashing of the Cardinals was a preview into this week's game. It might not be quite so pronounced, but Aaron Rodgers has been impressive and the Packers' defense has been even better. Packers 31, Cardinals 17.
Now that it's down to the Playoffs, I won't be shocked by anything. I mean, the Cardinals went to the Super Bowl last year! If that doesn't scream "Anything can happen" I don't know what would. I know it will be entertaining and I can't wait for it!
Monday, January 4, 2010
A Case of the Mondays: 2010
It's the first Monday of 2010. I'm back to work, and I couldn't be less excited. I've enjoyed leisurely burning days away by playing Mario Kart Wii, watching college of pro football, playing music, or watching Lord of the Rings on TNT. But now it's time look back at the break that was:
- I still haven't seen Avatar. We're going to try to get to an IMAX 3D showing, but they keep selling out. Anyone seen it? Is it worth this much trouble?
- Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears provide me the best fan experience of the season with their win against the Vikings last Monday. This goes squarely in the category of "Too Little, Too Late" and disappoints Bears fans even further to see what happens when the team actually plays well. Did you know, Jay Cutler threw for 8 touchdowns and 1 interception in his last two games combined? Hopefully he can carry that momentum into next year.
- New Year's Eve was fun. I played a show at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville and I'm proud to report that no women were punched in the face during the time I was there. In fact, it was relatively packed and the crowd was pretty good about singing along and having a good time, in general. I had never played on New Year's Eve before because I figured it would be a mess, but this experience has changed my perception of the night (to some degree- however, it is still quite an amateur night for drinkers.)
- I managed to get the gym many times during the break, so I guess I was productive in that regard. The best part was that I never ran into anyone weird at the gym. Everyone was on the best behavior and not having any 'roid rage episodes.
- The Cubs signed Marlon Byrd. Another ex-Ranger with the initials "M.B." to play the outfield in Wrigley? Yikes.
- That Sunday Night Game was awful. How in the hell did the NFL scheduling people manage to create three re-matches next week of three blow out games (Cowboys/Eagles, Packers/Cardinals, Jets/Bengals)? At least one of the results from yesterday will be different next week but we'll get to that tomorrow.
Until then, Happy New Year...
- I still haven't seen Avatar. We're going to try to get to an IMAX 3D showing, but they keep selling out. Anyone seen it? Is it worth this much trouble?
- Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears provide me the best fan experience of the season with their win against the Vikings last Monday. This goes squarely in the category of "Too Little, Too Late" and disappoints Bears fans even further to see what happens when the team actually plays well. Did you know, Jay Cutler threw for 8 touchdowns and 1 interception in his last two games combined? Hopefully he can carry that momentum into next year.
- New Year's Eve was fun. I played a show at the Boxing Donkey in Roseville and I'm proud to report that no women were punched in the face during the time I was there. In fact, it was relatively packed and the crowd was pretty good about singing along and having a good time, in general. I had never played on New Year's Eve before because I figured it would be a mess, but this experience has changed my perception of the night (to some degree- however, it is still quite an amateur night for drinkers.)
- I managed to get the gym many times during the break, so I guess I was productive in that regard. The best part was that I never ran into anyone weird at the gym. Everyone was on the best behavior and not having any 'roid rage episodes.
- The Cubs signed Marlon Byrd. Another ex-Ranger with the initials "M.B." to play the outfield in Wrigley? Yikes.
- That Sunday Night Game was awful. How in the hell did the NFL scheduling people manage to create three re-matches next week of three blow out games (Cowboys/Eagles, Packers/Cardinals, Jets/Bengals)? At least one of the results from yesterday will be different next week but we'll get to that tomorrow.
Until then, Happy New Year...
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Coaching In The Next Decade
I wonder if there ever was a time when coaches didn't say, "Kids these days aren't as tough as they used to be." Maybe when football was invented, coaches would yell at players during practice and say, "Back when I was kid, we didn't have football- we just worked in field all day with no play time at all! You kids are lucky to be participating in football- no run 8,000 gas-ers!"
Well, it seems like we are, more and more, living in a day and age where coaches are handcuffed and only allowed to use positive reinforcement. How is a kid supposed to learn that, in life and on the field, that there are going to be hard times that won't always be positive? Given great coaching, it will be easier for them to succeed during times of adversity.
With the recent firings of Mark Mangino and the weird situation going on with Mike Leach at Texas Tech, I'm here to help! Coaches can still bring their players to the brink of sanity without getting fired. How you ask? Well, here are a few ways:
1) What is wrong with running? Coaches seem to think kids/players are immune to running. It's pretty much the easiest form of acceptable punishment you can possibly use. You can make a player run all day instead of practicing. Chances are, they will eventually quit or buy into what you're selling. Either way, the problem is dealt with. There is also the tactic of making the team run while the slacker gets to watch. That works to bond the team together, and forces the slacker to pick it up or get exiled from the team by the other players. Who needs to lock a player in a utility closet? That's just plain silly.
2) No personal attacks that border (or jump completely into) racism. Mark Mangino was accused of telling a kid, "If you don't work harder, I'll send you back to the ghetto to get shot." Whoa, buddy! Only say stuff like that if you want to get fired. I'm sure there are personal attacks that you can use about him being soft or not caring about the team. Never go into someone's background to attack them if you'd like to keep your job.
3) Take parents into consideration. One reason I don't coach (and it might be the biggest reason) is that I don't want to deal with the parents. If you are a college coach, you not only can recruit players based on their talent and character, you can recruit them based on how annoying you think their parents will be. There's a certain amount of catering you'll have to do with every player, but if you think the parents just want a reason to complain, then pass on the kid. One talented kid is no reason to ruin your program or have you lose your job.
4) Any difficult activity you do, make sure it is directly related to the game. Don't starve players. Don't lock them up and confine them. Don't choke them or throw chairs at them. However, by all means, run the players to death. Bring them to a steep hill and make them run up with weights. Make the players do arduous physical team-building exercises that can always be linked back to you making the team better. There is a big difference between making players do difficult things and assaulting them because you're a frustrated coach. Always remember that.
5) Have fun. Too many coaches forget that ultimately their sport is a game. Their livelihood is on the line so many coaches stress out and get chest pains (Urban Meyer.) They can't remember why they started coaching in the first place. Love the game you coach and enjoy it. Being a coach is inherently frustrating, you can't always have self-motivators like Tim Tebow, so keep that in mind while you're going through every day operations. Part of the joy of being a coach is seeing players grow and mature, and that doesn't happen overnight. There's no reason to lock them in a closet or physically assault because of that. Enjoy yourself as well, coach!
So there you go. Push your players, but don't get fired. Easy, right? It's probably as easy as not growing to weigh 350+ lbs. but Mark Mangino couldn't do that, so why would anyone expect him to coach any better?
Well, it seems like we are, more and more, living in a day and age where coaches are handcuffed and only allowed to use positive reinforcement. How is a kid supposed to learn that, in life and on the field, that there are going to be hard times that won't always be positive? Given great coaching, it will be easier for them to succeed during times of adversity.
With the recent firings of Mark Mangino and the weird situation going on with Mike Leach at Texas Tech, I'm here to help! Coaches can still bring their players to the brink of sanity without getting fired. How you ask? Well, here are a few ways:
1) What is wrong with running? Coaches seem to think kids/players are immune to running. It's pretty much the easiest form of acceptable punishment you can possibly use. You can make a player run all day instead of practicing. Chances are, they will eventually quit or buy into what you're selling. Either way, the problem is dealt with. There is also the tactic of making the team run while the slacker gets to watch. That works to bond the team together, and forces the slacker to pick it up or get exiled from the team by the other players. Who needs to lock a player in a utility closet? That's just plain silly.
2) No personal attacks that border (or jump completely into) racism. Mark Mangino was accused of telling a kid, "If you don't work harder, I'll send you back to the ghetto to get shot." Whoa, buddy! Only say stuff like that if you want to get fired. I'm sure there are personal attacks that you can use about him being soft or not caring about the team. Never go into someone's background to attack them if you'd like to keep your job.
3) Take parents into consideration. One reason I don't coach (and it might be the biggest reason) is that I don't want to deal with the parents. If you are a college coach, you not only can recruit players based on their talent and character, you can recruit them based on how annoying you think their parents will be. There's a certain amount of catering you'll have to do with every player, but if you think the parents just want a reason to complain, then pass on the kid. One talented kid is no reason to ruin your program or have you lose your job.
4) Any difficult activity you do, make sure it is directly related to the game. Don't starve players. Don't lock them up and confine them. Don't choke them or throw chairs at them. However, by all means, run the players to death. Bring them to a steep hill and make them run up with weights. Make the players do arduous physical team-building exercises that can always be linked back to you making the team better. There is a big difference between making players do difficult things and assaulting them because you're a frustrated coach. Always remember that.
5) Have fun. Too many coaches forget that ultimately their sport is a game. Their livelihood is on the line so many coaches stress out and get chest pains (Urban Meyer.) They can't remember why they started coaching in the first place. Love the game you coach and enjoy it. Being a coach is inherently frustrating, you can't always have self-motivators like Tim Tebow, so keep that in mind while you're going through every day operations. Part of the joy of being a coach is seeing players grow and mature, and that doesn't happen overnight. There's no reason to lock them in a closet or physically assault because of that. Enjoy yourself as well, coach!
So there you go. Push your players, but don't get fired. Easy, right? It's probably as easy as not growing to weigh 350+ lbs. but Mark Mangino couldn't do that, so why would anyone expect him to coach any better?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Amazing Things I've Seen This Week...
1) A guy at Wal-Mart wearing a zip up jacket that wasn't zipped up. Why is this a big deal? Well, he was wearing no shirt underneath. While Sacramento is definitely not that cold during the winter, it's definitely not a place where you can just do that and be comfortable, so the obvious connection is that "The Situation" is now influencing teenagers on the opposite side of the US.
2) The Bears winning in overtime against the Vikings on Monday Night Football. By far my best experience all year as a fan. Unfortunately, this game is meaningless and only gives me hope that Jay Cutler can be better next year along with the Bears (bad news: The Packers are going to be very good for a long time.)
3) I've tried to see Avatar three times, and still haven't seen it. Granted, they have been lackluster efforts, but I didn't figure that "Titanic for Nerds" would be selling out for weeks after it's release. I guess I was wrong.
4) Mario Kart Wii is one cheating-ass video game. Seriously. Why am I always in first going into the last turn of any track then get hit with a Blue Shell, then a lightning, then a Pow, then a Red Shell and all of a sudden I'm in 11th. Some good ol' controller throwing is definitely in order when playing this game.
That's it. There might be a few more average blog entries, but I'm not promising anything. Remember, I'm playing NEW YEARS EVE at THE BOXING DONKEY IN ROSEVILLE. No cover, so if you don't have extravagant plans and want to hang out in Roseville, then make sure you come out!
2) The Bears winning in overtime against the Vikings on Monday Night Football. By far my best experience all year as a fan. Unfortunately, this game is meaningless and only gives me hope that Jay Cutler can be better next year along with the Bears (bad news: The Packers are going to be very good for a long time.)
3) I've tried to see Avatar three times, and still haven't seen it. Granted, they have been lackluster efforts, but I didn't figure that "Titanic for Nerds" would be selling out for weeks after it's release. I guess I was wrong.
4) Mario Kart Wii is one cheating-ass video game. Seriously. Why am I always in first going into the last turn of any track then get hit with a Blue Shell, then a lightning, then a Pow, then a Red Shell and all of a sudden I'm in 11th. Some good ol' controller throwing is definitely in order when playing this game.
That's it. There might be a few more average blog entries, but I'm not promising anything. Remember, I'm playing NEW YEARS EVE at THE BOXING DONKEY IN ROSEVILLE. No cover, so if you don't have extravagant plans and want to hang out in Roseville, then make sure you come out!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saved By The Bell: A Home For Christmas
TBS plays Saved By The Bell re-runs every morning and appropriately, they played this Christmas themed episode today. And while I still love the show, I had to laugh at how ridiculous much of this episode was.
If you recall, Zack hits on a blond girl that works at the mall. He puts the mack down on her, and can't figure out why she would be reluctant to get with the coolest guy in the LA area?!?! And the same time, Screech and Zack run into a bearded man shaving at the sink in the mall bathroom. Zack deduces that the man is homeless (dun dun duuuuuun!) I mean, I'm sure there are lots of homeless men that discreetly walk around high class Beverly Hills malls and shave in the bathroom with no one bothering them.
Later, when Zack finally gets the blond, Laura, to go out with him, he sees the homeless man and makes a comment. Laura immediately changes her mind about going out with Zack. It turns out (wait for it-) that the homeless man is Laura's father (what a coincidence!!!)
So in the white-washed reality of Saved By The Bell, there the only thing different about homeless and not homeless is literally the fact that the guy has a beard (and even then, the homeless man, Mr. Benton, was still able to trim up his the neck portion of his beard.) This is almost as ridiculous as someone getting addicted to Caffeine Pills!
Throw in a boss that acts like Mr. Scrooge from "A Christmas Carol," Laura getting accused by said boss of stealing a blazer for her homeless dad, then the boss ending up apologizing and giving Laura the blazer (which I'm sure will magically earn him a job) and you have the recipe for a phenomenally cheesy Christmas episode. In the end, Zack talks his mom into letting the Bentons stay with them until Mr. Benton can get back on his feet (or until Zack can get a little play from his daughter.) Mr. Benton actually says, "We've been in California 2 months, and you're the first people to help us out at all." Really? You lost your job, became homeless, and you're first idea is, "Let's go to California! The land of the highest inflation and housing costs in the nation!" No wonder this guy lost his job.
Would Zack have done any of this if the guy's daughter wasn't hot (I'm using the word "hot" very loosely)? Nope. And that my fellow readers, is the true meaning of a Saved By The Bell Christmas!
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